DomWhat do you think is better:

– [Guy #1] Marrying your high school sweetheart, who is a 10/10 on the looks scale, is wrapped around your finger because you took her virginity, and is also therefore statistically less likely to cheat, file divorce, or be a neurotic bitch since she has substantially less baggage due to having you as her only sex partner and serious relationship. Because of her limited awareness of (and exposure to) the objective reality that we are all just essentially animals fucking each other on this planet, she would make a great wife and mother for your kids, and would be trained by her experience to be a loyal, family-oriented woman–that still fucks you well, of course.

or

– [Guy #2] Not getting tied down in any relationships, having lots of casual sex with various hot women, a few mostly shallow relationships, all while focusing a large amount of your energy and time on achieving success in business/science/politics/whatever it is you do. Then, once you hit your 30s or 40s, you realize the opportunity to snag a sexy 16-year-old is over, as you are no longer 16 yourself, and that you may never find a girl so pure again (pure in comparison to other females; pure by contrast–not actual “angel”-type pureness or anything fantasy-esque). The girls you get now are great, but the innocence can never be regained, and that was a sacrifice you unknowingly made when you chose this route of personal greatness in your chosen field, and of course, the experience of a multi-decade sex spree.

At first glance, guy #1 might look like the beta king, but Heartiste made a post the other week about a LTR with a 10 being infinitely more alpha than banging a dozen 9s, one hundred 7s, one thousand 5s, or whatever else. I can’t remember the exact numbers, and they’re really nothing more than an arbitrary opinion anyway, but it’s the premise that counts–and makes sense. Then I read a post somewhere–I can’t really remember where; maybe it was on this blog–that stated how an extreme emotional attachment with your sex partner brings game to a whole new level, and completely blows casual sex game out of the water. Once again, yes, that’s just another opinion, but it’s one that I respect, and I think it has fair logic behind it.

So considering everything stated above, guy #1 basically has it all made. He skipped all the bullshit and went straight for the jugular. But at closer look, as a human that subscribes to human nature, he will most likely catch himself thinking, “I’ve only been with her; she’s only been with me. I am missing out on life. I need to experience more.” This also makes sense, because despite having an arguably enviable situation, his lack of experience doesn’t allow him to realize it, and he becomes unsatisfied with his life.

Guy #2 fucks around and handles business, and then later on his life, he realizes that the unicorns have left the stable–and they won’t be coming back. Yes, it’s great to fly to Miami on the weekend and bang a couple of hot chicks after partying it up on Friday and Saturday, but when the fun is over, the emptiness inevitably sets back in, and he is forced to reflect on the opportunities he deemed unimportant when they were available to him. The women he has relationships with are still sexy and high-quality, but the innocence and ironclad loyalty values don’t exist anymore.

Overall, each situation has its own pros and cons, like anything else.

…What are your thoughts on this? I’ve concluded that no matter where someone is in the sexual marketplace, the “grass is greener on the other side” syndrome will come into play and mind-fuck you.

Men have different sexual strategies that largely correlate with their socio-sexual score. While women tend to be more interested in long term relationship stability than men, some men have a lower socio-sexual score than does the average woman, meaning they are more interested in stability and commitment than the average woman. These men have the K type sexual strategy of long term investment into a few children.

Other men have higher socio-sexual scores, and it’s been studied that while they have sex with women of all s.s. scores, they fuck most with women who also have high s.s. scores. While most men prefer to fuck the slut and marry the good girl, there do exist many men with high s.s scores who are happy to have medium term or even long term relationships with women who also have a high s.s. score.

So which is better? The hot virgin or the rotation of sluts? Which lifestyle is more fulfilling? The one with stability and strong long term bonds, or the less stable but more adventurous one?

Better for whom? Men have predispositions. Some of us could never be happy with one pussy for life, and prefer lust based romances. Others don’t feel much urge for variety and want a companionate relationship.

There is no one size fits all shoe.

However for myself I’ve found a good middle ground. I have medium term serial monogamy relationships, lasting from 6 months to 2.5 years, and I intersperse in there some periods of parallel monogamy, with shorter to medium term relationships. I still fall in love, bond, and have deep and meaningful connections, plus I get periods of adventure, and some variety over time. I’m very careful about not losing my ability to bond; I don’t fuck prostitutes and even stay away from disco chicks. If the girl can’t bond, much of the fun is gone. Of course I’ve had one night stands and fuck buddies, and that’s all good. I still prefer at least a little bit of romance with my sex.

Now, about marrying a high school sweetheart who is a virgin 10. The only thing I have to say about that is that all girls are virgins at some point. Girls who marry young are actually a higher divorce risk than girls who marry later, even though girls who marry later have a higher partner count. What skews the data on virgins being less of a divorce risk is that nowadays being a virgin is very unusual, and has causal factors that include genetics and upbringing. Either the girl is very religious, or timid, or has a low libido, or a combination. Without these causes and conditions there is no incentive to refrain from such a strong basic socially sanctioned urge. So a girl who has a normal or a strong libido who is not strict about religion who marries young as a virgin will bond strongly with you, but like everyone else, after those bonds wear off in two or four years, she’ll take stock of her situation and re-consider her options. If you are still a great option, you might continue. But marriage doesn’t take her out of the marketplace, and marrying her as a virgin does not create a bond that won’t degrade with time.

I don’t think virgins are particularly special, myself. I took the virginity from the girl I’m living with now. We’ve been together for almost two years, and the points she gains from me having been her first don’t add up to much. She still has all the flaws that women have. All of them. She is no less neurotic than other women, and she is just as subject to hypergamy as any girl. Now, there were reasons she was a virgin at 21, and those reasons make her less likely to cheat for the thrill of sex, but she is still a woman doing her job as a woman, and to do it well means being hypergamous. She will keep options open and even tentatively pursue those options while in a relationship, to set up backup plans or even to jump ship. That’s what women do – even virgins. The sins of womenhood don’t come from fucking – they are innate.

On the other hand a few years ago I lived for the happiest 11 months of my life with a young woman who had been a total slut. She bonded to me more than anyone ever has. I owned her completely, and she was my devoted love slave. I can give example after example of her daily devotions. She’d give me a blowjob in nearly every taxi cab ride we took, and as I didn’t have a car we’d take a taxi regularly. She’d take my shoes off as I entered the door, tell me that she missed me after coming home from grocery shopping, come like a fountain for as long as I could fuck her, staring up in my eyes with love and joy, tell me she loved me twenty times a day, cut my toenails, carefully prepare each meal, and on and on. No shit tests, no drama. She even tried to help me setup threesomes. Overall far less neurotic and much more bonded and loving and devoted than my current virgin girl.

I’m not saying that there is no correlation between a woman’s partner count and her bonding ability. But if you are the most alpha man she’s been with who also pushes her nest building romantic buttons more than anyone shes been romantic with, then for all intents and purposes you are her first man. You can even be better than her first man, as you will appear to be a superman to a woman who knows what most men are like.

The issue about men losing their ability to bond is crucial. I always advocate for men not to do that. Be careful with your sex, and feel love when you fuck, at least most of the time. Sex is a habit in your body, and bad habits make you less able to have good sex.