Most people that talk about this stuff say the opposite, they say not to be emotionally invested, to be “aloof” but their goal is not to create a bond and attachment for her, which is why your insights into all this is something you cannot find anywhere else.

It’s very difficult to put into words what we do that works. I’ve been saying for years that the notion of being aloof in seduction is a misinterpretation of a part of the process. I remember the parable of three blind men describing and elephant; one is holding the trunk and describes a snake, one is touching the leg and describes a tree, and one leans up against it’s ass and describes a wall.

Being aloof is part of push pull. It’s not a default position. There are parallels between being aloof and talking about being passionate from a dominant and non-needy position, but the word aloof can’t capture the whole dynamic. For some people the word aloof might spring to mind whenever talking about not being needy, but that’s going to far and is misleading because we still need to retain passion and interest, and even a touch of emotional vulnerability in just the right dose. I think what happened is that men realized that being needy is a turn off, and were not able to properly articulate the dynamics of that. I’m trying to explain how to be engaged and intimate, passionate and sometimes even tender from a dominant position while skillfully pushing a woman’s buttons and without being needy.

I’ve never seen anyone talk about this either. That’s perhaps a bit strange, as I think most men’s default starting position is to be romantic. I guess when we learn how not to be played most people throw the baby out with the bathwater, and just abjure all emotion. But that way won’t give the man the tools he needs to fully enslave a woman.

You might say there are parallels with a tantric approach here. In the original Buddhism the teachings were mostly about renouncing emotion, but in later schools emotion is allowed and you try to heighten your awareness of emotion without being totally swept up in it. Again the idea of expanding your awareness so that you don’t identify with a small part of it comes into play. My approach is to include the emotions and use them skillfully while not identifying with them completely and not getting swept away in them. If a man is emotional he runs the risk of the women puppeting him. Women are born with the manipulative advantage in life, but an intelligent man with experience man can beat any woman at manipulation any day.

Women have hooks in them and are easy to play, but to really play music well you have to sink into it and feel it. It won’t work if you are trying to distance yourself from emotion so that you don’t get hurt; you have to be expert in the ways of emotion, and get into it. Like a sailor on rough seas, you master the ocean but don’t drown.

Is this guy aloof? This is the kind of mastery of engaging ones own and other peoples emotions that I’m talking about. He plays himself and others like an instrument. He seduced the world with his passion and inspired several artists to write songs and make remixes of his performance.

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