If she keep putting on the trash, take it off her and cut it up with scissors in front of her.
And tell her what to wear.
My girl occasionally backslides and I ask her “go get me the scissors”. She knows it’s no bluff, so she changes.
Good Luck Chuck: Great in theory but try that with a chick in a western country. Even if she is down with the program as soon as she tells the sisterhood about something like this it will be the beginning of the end. “Girl, that’s emotional abuse!” “He’s a controlling asshole, you don’t need to put up with that.”
Western society is TOXIC and it is the reason why this problem exists. Dominance is good and necessary but when the trend is against you you can only push so far without experiencing a backlash.
Cutting up her clothes works best if you have a domestic arrangement where you are the one paying for her clothes shopping expenses.
But mostly it’s about holding your frame. Will the girl complain and freak out? Yes. If you are unapologetic about it and say you’d do it again if she wears frumpy clothes again, she’ll huff about it, sure. You don’t always get concessions to dominance with a happy smile on the girls face. But you’ll see for yourself the overall effect. Months later she’ll look in the mirror and remark how proud she is at her changes, shaking her head in disbelief at her old self. And she’ll thank you for changing her, and have a deep admiration, as if for a good parent.
You have to build up dominance step by step as you get your hooks into her. She has to already be way into you before you can demand more. If she is into you, she’s not going to be able to throw that all away, regardless of the sisterhood, over the issue of your demand of her wearing proper clothes. And it’s not as if you didn’t warn her – you can give her 10 warnings before bringing out the scissors. If you wind up cutting her clothes it’s nothing but her fault.
Women do understand discipline. You say western women don’t, but my belief is that women do. Women. It just takes a man who can stand up to the initial barrage of assault that comes from stealing power from the girl.
And timing. You have to steal her power in increments at the right time.
It’s tricky to make cross cultural comparisons at the best of times but as you haven’t lived here you won’t realize the commonalities. The sisterhood phenomenon exists everywhere – that’s a female thing. Everywhere the sisterhood advocates for more power to the woman, less to the man. There is nowhere where the sisterhood wouldn’t cluck at the man cutting up the girls frumpy clothes.
And everywhere that is not a difficult obstacle to overcome. You just have to be more important to her than her friends. That is not that difficult to do. She should be hugely emotionally invested in you, and you should be the center of her entire world. She’ll do what you say over friends and family and mother and father and God himself.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run up against the sisterhood advising my girls to leave me, and not only for something trivial like insisting that she wear a house uniform. More about being too old, too ugly, and too poor. Or seeing other girls. Endless barrages of sisterhood-gabble.
And no girl ever listened.
There is no husband in SE Asia who would do as I say. This place is matriarchal. You’ll never hear of any man indigenous to here doing dominant actions like I advocate. I’m not advocating for something that is culturally accepted at all. This is a man-woman thing. You have to be a man to pull it off. If you are, you can do it in any culture.
Are there any pimps in your country today? Then you get my point.
Pimps in your culture get their girls to do anything on command. Maybe you think those are just fucked up girls, and real girls wouldn’t behave that way. He he. If so, pimps will tell you you’d be surprised the types of girls they turn. Look to the loverboys who keep many girls in love with them. Their friends and family all advise to leave that bad boy – he’s nothing but trouble – but she can’t. She literally can not. She’ll stick with him no matter what.
There is an art to the type of dominance I advocate that is a powerful voodoo. Women ache for it. Of course they will fight. Of course the sisterhood will fight.
And here is the painful thing, Chuck; if your attitude is that culture won’t allow you to be properly dominant, then your attitude is weak. Don’t just give up before you even begin. If you take the right approach and do it well, you WILL see good results.
Once a man internalizes being a huge, overwhelming and central authority in his woman’s life, that is what happens. I think you don’t understand that. It’s an internal change. The woman eventually will feel that without you she is nothing. She’ll miss you if you are gone for even a few hours.
I’m talking about being the center of her being, and being comfortable and proficient in that managerial role.
If culture is affecting your ability to do that, it is only in that you are soaking in your culture and so can’t yet internalize that attitude.
Yes, there are cultural differences between places. That makes a strong man even more rare and even more valuable.
Mostly it’s the men who refuse their leadership role that cause women to refuse leadership. Men want more of an “equal”. So that’s what they get. Being a leader demands taking leadership. With smooth words when possible, with a physical fight when necessary. Internalized feminism in men prevents men from being leaders. Men today don’t want all that responsibility that comes with being the center of another person’s world.
Women are women and ache for a real man. Just read any of their popular romance books – soaked with dominance. In your culture, right now, women wait for a man who has the minerals to stand up to them.
This is why I say that the number one most important LTR skill is to get your woman accustomed to taking commands.