Without a condom I come in less than 10minutes, sometimes in like 5min. I need to last longer, any advice?
There is esoteric knowledge, thousands of years old, dedicated to your dilemma. You could call it sexual yoga, but let’s just use modern language; it’s kinesthetic visualization.
Normally we walk around in a haze, barely aware of our thoughts or our bodies. For sex you need to be finely tuned in to what you are feeling in your body.
And here is the esoteric part. Sensations in your body have a dimension you never yet considered. Some call it “energy”, but there is a way of feeling that is not about skin pressure, temperature, or friction.
Here is why I name Chi-kung, or Taoist Sex, or Tantric Sex, or Kundalini Sex as kinesthetic visualization. First off, the kinesthetic sense is what you feel when you put your hand behind your head and wiggle your fingers and know where your hand is. If you are kinesthetically aware of all parts of your body at once, that is a type of visualization, as you are holding in your mind a complex detailed arrangement.
So to fuck well and last a long time, you have to start with the elements of awareness, then gradually fit them together into a whole.
Learn the basics first. Focus on the chakras. Next you must open up a strong powerful flow of energy up the spine. Once you do that you’ll start to really feel “energy” as distinct from skin sensation. Next you’ll have to study standing chi-kung practices, focusing especially on feeling energy below your feet. Yes, it sounds hooey fooey, but strangely enough, that makes no difference to your kinesthetic visualization. You are creating a phantom limb, however this phantom limb integrates with your visualization and affects it. When you ground below your feet you feel “grounded”. Your perineum and anus will relax, your blood pressure lower, and on and on.
Then you have to open up above the crown of your head. Do standing but moving chi-kung exercises for this, as well as exercises that you can do sitting down. But the strongest exercise for this is during sex. Use all the powers of concentration you can muster to focus on the top of your head and above the top of your head while you fuck. Forget about your dick – just focus intently above your head. You will start to feel the fuck energy up there. The next part requires that you have no shyness. While fucking, scream and sneeze up all the energy from the base of your spine out the top of your head with a high pitched “heee”. You may feel this very strongly – it’s not a joke. It might feel like a cannonball of energy is moving up your spine and out the top of your head. Shooting energy out of your head is only a preparatory practice – don’t continue it once your are proficient; it’s just to open the spine. Doing it too much is draining. However at first you may find it’s the easiest way to get your focus away from your dick so that you don’t come.
You’ll find that your breath does strange things when you move energy up – sometimes you’ll want to quickly pant. Also your fuck-voice will rise in pitch when you put the energy high. You might sound like a female Japanese porn star. Later you will learn to hold much energy in your belly, and your voice will lower to a dusky grunt. And of course when energy is focused in the heart your voice will coo.
In learning to direct energy around your body you must also let go and allow the energy to decide where to go. Like with music you play, you control it and it controls you. Let go and trust your body, but be your body and orchestrate.
Some people may initially be shy to be screaming and panting. If you’re worrying about what the girl thinks of all that, you are fucking the wrong girl, which will fuck with your practice. Don’t fuck the wrong girl. Only fuck girls that you are into. And although it may seem counter-intuitive, you’ll find that girls get turned on by you being turned on – no matter if it is unusual behavior. They will naturally attune to your intense energies. They may start to orgasm for the first time after many lovers, or have long sustained orgasms. Don’t be shy, let loose, enjoy, be freaky.
Practice your chi-kung exercises every day, and also do simple shamata sitting meditation. The two work together – neither is complete alone. Doing it every day is important, as the changes are gradual and cumulative, yet atrophy with disuse, like lifting weights.
Eventually when you fuck you will be doing intense chi-kung, feel powerful energy below your feet, have a whole body energetic visualization going on, and you will be screaming your head off. And you will be able to last forever.
You will feel that you are power incarnate.
I’ll try write more on this difficult and touchy subject in the future, by giving more detailed instructions for individual practices.