Reading stuff like this at 16 is very depressing. While it may teach me how to achieve better success with women, it makes me not want to.

Sure, I want sex. But more importantly, in the long term, I want understanding and love. Knowing that a moment of weakness will shatter any girl’s interest is impossible to accept.

Our strong sense of identity makes it difficult to realize that our habits of mind change dramatically over time. Although at your young age you have seen dramatic changes in identity every few years, you haven’t yet seen that many of them. You may also assume that once you are an adult that you will have a stable identity. It isn’t so; you can expect to have a very different identity every 5 years or so.

And so the self that grieves for a lost hope of relating with women as equal caring partners devoted to love may not have the same attitudes once you become a self who is proficient at attracting and maintaining attraction with women, and who has had intimate relations with many women and seen again and again the good, the bad, and the ugly in them.

Your grief now is temporary because the man who grieves will no longer be around.

Your identity will have to change to adjust to the new painful information. No self want’s to exist in a state of turmoil and angst for long.

You’ll have several options for adapting to this new information. Some of them will lead to a harmonious, healthy and happy integration of all information, and you’ll be able to smile inside and feel warm when you think of women.

Some adaptations would lead you to avoid women and to think poorly of them.

Some adaptations would lead you to see them as inferior beings to be exploited ruthlessly for advantage and for sadistic pleasure.

If people can go through the stages of grief and come to acceptance of death, and still enjoy the pleasures of living, you can come to terms with the facts of women, and still love and enjoy them for what they are.

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