I understand that this is a touchy subject to broach. I’ve never had much success introducing the idea of sexual chi-kung. Perhaps there is too much ego investment involved, perhaps it is just too much of a stretch of the imagination to imagine something that we have no personal experience with yet.
There is a way to have sex that is quite different from what you are likely doing now. It feels qualitatively and quantitatively different. You feel the sex feelings not just in your dick, but also up your spine and throughout your body, and even in phantom-limb type areas outside your physical body, such as above your head and below your feet. The feelings can be far more intense than any orgasm, and can last for a long time. If you’re in good health, you can have a peak sex experience for an hour or two at a time. Such sensations are so intense that you pretty well are forced to scream.
When I fuck like that and don’t come, the girl gets no feeling that I wasn’t getting off.
Another aspect of this type of sex is very sublime attention to sensations. Have you ever had a shared orgasm where as the girl starts to come you feel your sex feelings suddenly rise up, and it makes you join her in orgasm? There can be a feeling in a mutual orgasm that your energies are mingling. Whether or not this is an accurate description of physical energetic forces is immaterial. That is the subjective kinesthetic interpretation. Ecstatic union is an art form, that when practiced with skill and power can have a tremendous effect on your lover.
Girls who have thought of themselves as incapable of orgasm, girls who have had dozens or even hundreds of previous partners and never came before can become able to come for minutes and tens of minutes at a time, many times in a session.
People are generally energetically illiterate. I find it a shame. And what’s worse is that people stubbornly and dogmatically cling to their habits and beliefs about sex.
Sex can be profound and powerful. You can feel intensely present and alive and powerful and feel a full force of love and skill and control and ability, all the while screaming your fucking head off.
Yes, the girl should come. It’s important. You will feel her orgasm throughout your whole body. Her coming is your coming.
You don’t have to release sperm. She won’t miss it. She’ll learn that you coming makes you tired, and won’t want you to come. She’ll want more fucking, when you fuck in this fashion. She’ll become an addict to your cock, and you will own her heart, mind, soul, and body.
People often embark on this new way to have sex after a single life changing peak experience of energy shooting up their spine. After some practice they can feel this sensation at will, and feel it especially strongly during sex. Amazing and life changing as this step is, it is but a small initial baby step on the way of profound kinesthetic re-organizations. Your neural network can re-organize such that it connects up more parts of your brain, and you become a synesthete with a central organ of perception being an embodied and present kinesthetic awareness. You will grow new types of sensations throughout your kinesthetic body that you never had before. This will affect not just your sex, but your every waking moment.
And some non-waking moments as well.
If this is a subject that interests you, I would suggest searching out continuing ed classes in Chi-kung in your area. Books and videos are also available, but I believe you’ll find personal instruction to be more inspiring. Another branch of practical study is Daoist energetic practices. Kundalini practices are a bit dangerous, but you may want to risk doing them for a time. Back off when you get wiggy. Those practices are a bit like LSD. They can be so intense that they can be hypnotic and disorienting, even as you feel they are orienting. However they are useful to open up new perceptions and to shake your perceptions out of habit. There are also many kinesthetically oriented meditations from various traditions that broaden and deepen your sense of present self.