This is a free association musing in reply to a question that is too broad to answer. It’s not really a post – the thoughts are barely formed. But I don’t think they will congeal into a clear image until I get them out there for viewing and comment and testing.


“She’s already in love. That was the easy part.”

I know you have touched on this before, but a focused post elaborating on the process to achieve this would be appreciated.

I’m going to have to free associate just to get some material to start with. You’ve asked a question that may be too large to answer.

I woke up from a dream an hour ago. I was playing with a group of children, and they were charmed and laughing and we were having fun. On waking up I noticed a similarity to managing the minds and moods of children to managing the minds and moods of women. In my early teens the local neighbors learned I was able to keep their kids pleasantly entertained and disciplined, and so I was regularly called to babysit. One families children were completely unmanageable terrors – to anyone but me. I did tame them, in time, and we learned to enjoy ourselves. As usual, the kids eventually fell in love with me – as it should be. Which of us didn’t love some grade school teachers – both male and female. There can be a type of affection reserved for authority figures in certain positions that stays with us fondly for years.

(One kid even took the time to research where I lived, years later after he’d grown up into a teen, and dropped by just to say hi and thanks and that he’d appreciated his time spent with me. Another group of kids also saw me, years later, and looked up reverentially at me as if I were some minor god.)

Following along from babysitting, I’ve had other life experiences that indirectly served as training for dealing with women. One was being self employed as a salesman of jewelry and dresses and other feminine things, vending primarily to college age girls. My approach was to never try to sell anything. I rarely even talked about the products. I didn’t have much passion for the products – I was interested in the people. My job was to make them laugh. If I created a positive vibe in my kiosk, the money would be thrown at me from the crowd. Make em laugh, and they will be appreciative, and show it.

Other relevant trainings? I’ve put in many hours on the meditation cushion, and practicing chi-kung. So I can be strongly present and engaged, and carry a vibe that conveys ease. I’m comfortable with the dark corners in myself, and can use that to advantage to love others more completely. I can look into someone without needing to see rainbows and butterflies in there – and I can also see rainbows and butterflies in there.

I’ve dated vixens. I’ve been knocked and knocked again by the school of hard knocks. I know what its like to get played, and I’ve learned how to play a player. I know a girls tricks, and can use them against her. By now I know female psychology.

So how is it that I have a history of girlfriends falling deeply in love with me – sometimes in a very short time? How to do it?

Hmmm. More free association.

I’ve introduced a game to my girl that we play when we go out to a restaurant. “Who wins the contest?” I’ll ask. She looks around the room, and compares all the men and the quality of their dates and wives and company. “You do!” “Yes, I do! I win the contest!” My girl has so far always been the most attractive – plus our relative attraction difference is starkly in my favor. She’s way hotter. But about love, the contest is also about sexual chemistry and romantic charge. There can be young handsome bucks in the prime of their vibrant energetic youth, perfectly dressed and coiffed, with good posture, who are still schlubs. No charisma, no confidence, no sense of engagement, of controlling the mood of the table, of engaging the mood of the girl.

These guys at the restaurant tables can’t compete – with me! I win the contest – over them! No matter how handsome and well built, you’d never get my girl to leave the table to go check them out. And they are with fat or ugly or old or boring girls, and you very rarely see anything that reminds you of electricity.

People are passionless and dull, and have no sense of flair and charisma.

I used to think the reason girls fell fast and hard for me was the great sex. But the girl I’m with now was asexual for the first month or two, and I took her heart quickly – on the first date. Her virginity fell to me, and even though our sexual chemistry was poor, at first, she still bonded. So whatever happened that time wasn’t a sex addiction. I used all the skills that I have to hypnotize her into a mood – to get her to fall into the fantasy that she was born to play out – that she was falling in love. I decided I wanted her, and chose the mood. I used every opportunity to foster that mood. But fostering a mood can only be done the same way a dramatist or D.J. or musician does it – you can’t just play the same tune over and over – you have to mix up your sets. Your overall mood of your drama may be a comedy, or a thriller, but even inside a comedy you need thrills, and inside a thriller you need comedy. Your mix tape may lean to romantic ballads, but you still need at least one strong dance tune in there. Push and pull.

To have a woman fall in love with you, you need to be the director of moods. You need to feel in your body the whole piece, that includes yesterday, this morning, and projects into tonight, and tomorrow. You are the social director of a cruise ship, the events planner at a wedding. You are responsible for alternating the moods, and must have a sense for how moods develop.

A kid wants to be tucked into bed with a bed-time story, and if he doesn’t get it, he’ll wander down to the TV room later to ask for a glass of water. A girl wants to fall asleep in your warm love. A kid loves best to wake up to a happy birthday. A girl loves best to wake up to a cheerful “good morning!”. There are ritual moods you use throughout the day. Each morning that you say “good morning!” adds on more depth of cheer to the last, until the simple words contain a history of happiness.

Sometimes instead of good morning I’ll say happy birthday, or merry Christmas.

You can embody celbebration, love, and dominance. She’ll want to give up her body mind and soul to be of your world. The more she gives up, the more demands you make on her. Children also want demands placed on them – it makes them feel like valued and important family members. If you are carrying groceries, you must give one small bag to even the smallest child. No matter he says he doesn’t want it. He needs his job to do to be important. Same for the girl – you must give her duties and expectations in order for her to feel she is necessary to your tribe.

She will start to feel that the two of you share a project – share the project of a happy life.