The game of attraction is about a congruence of inner attitude and polished showmanship and oratory skills.
I’d like to riff on that topic quoting from something seemingly off topic, that Kronos1978 recently wrote:
When female mice encounter pheromones of dominant males, some regions in their brain grow, and these regions in turn process pheromones –> this is a self-reinforcing process, which leads to even bigger attraction for the dominant males, because the females become even more receptive to their specific pheromones. The whole process in females DOES NOT occur, when they encounter pheromones of subordinate or castrated males.
And one more thing: Women don’t prefer psychopaths, they want strong, independent, dominant men. These traits are often found in psychos, but much more often in “normal men”. It’s never black and white, there are 253 varieties of grey in between.
…and you don’t have to do such sophisticated science: Much simpler, it has been shown that oxytocin administration increases interpersonal trust, whereas testosterone decreases it. Makes perfectly sense to me.
High T, low Oxy: Don’t trust other, rather dominate other or even fight
Low T, high Oxy: Don’t fight, trust others.
Like it or not, we are not as miraculous as many would like us to be, we are just supercomplex biochemical machines, that can be understood.
And then bring in Rollos image that a man who is in a seduction phase of dating should be spinning many plates.
So we see that there is a whole gestalt at play here, in order to make the words work.
Everyone has noticed that if you make a great connection on the internet with someone, it can fall apart in the next higher bandwidth communication of a phone conversation. And if you continue to click on the phone, it can all instantly fall apart when meeting in person. To that I always say that no dating relationship is real until you can smell the person.
So in order for your game to work, you have to smell right. In order to smell right, you have to be successfully spinning many plates. Success builds on success. You need to build congruence. In order to more easily build your number count, you need to already have a high number count. The oratory skills can’t be practiced in isolation of your inner game skills.
It’s an integrated, enmeshed system – that literally exudes out of your pores. If you don’t smell right, getting the words down – like you can on the phone – won’t work to create the needed impression.
And back to smelling right – if you are dating, but only one other girl – you will tend to have your T lowered as you shift into domestic mode.
And Kronos1978 gave us a great tool to understand how beta traits include cooperation. The socially beneficial traits of group cooperation are beta, and smell wrong to girls. Testosterone makes men act more around their own concerns, rather than the concern of the group.
Obviously being alpha doesn’t make you a better and more admirable person – from the point of view of the group, it can make you a worse person. But to women, it’s more attractive to habitually be selfish. And if you are successful with women, that will raise your T, and you WILL become more selfish.