Re: Harems

On a side note, they’re not that cool. It sounds great until you do it. Unless you’re a political animal and love drama, just not worth it.

You can have sex without the angst and neediness and endless… conversations. Dancing like a chicken on an electric wire for what?


I’ll agree that you need a high tolerance for drama. Thankfully such tolerance builds up through exposure.

And I’d like to think such managerial skills and tolerance for tension are useful skill-sets to build into a personality.

The stress and tension has rewards. It’s not a bad lifestyle at all. I’d say that non-monogamy and serial monogamy are about on par for overall life satisfaction. One leans more towards romance and comfort – at the risk of boredom. The other more towards fun and excitement and sexual variety and adventure – at the risk of stress.

What I like to do is have alternate long bouts of serial monogamy with non-monogamy. But I’m not a player and never do PUA style pump and dump. Even the one nighters are all about intimacy – and I prefer if the one nighters become just one new member of the family.

And I’ll add that for some personality types, you really haven’t lived until you’ve had concurrent girlfriends.

After my mate died, I told my ex exactly what my plan was. I was going to wait about 6 months before dating again, then I was going to get several girlfriends. I allowed the ex to live with me those 6 months as platonic company, and the week after finally getting her dragging ass out the door I was dating. Within two weeks I had a few girls who’d visited and were interested, and within a few months I had a live in lover, a serious 2nd lover who wanted to marry me, and a ping pong sleepover buddy. They all knew about each other.

For those who’ve never lost a serious mate to death, I suggest you don’t. But if you do, the soul cure outlined above seems a good one.

The Specimen

Shooting strange on the side. When you’re doing it right, it’s almost impossible not to have a main chick.

I’ve had several main girls before. Or no main girl, if you want to put it that way. But I agree it’s natural that one girl will eventually take the lead and become the number one. Either situation is unstable. The only stability you can keep in MLTRs is a stable rotation of who is considered your family.

And if you are doing it right, the girls will consider you their family.

Good Luck Chuck

These kinds of arrangements always have a shelf life which is determined by the TRUE long term mating value of the man involved.

It’s a catch 22. If she doesnt’ fall in love with you deeply, it can last longer. If her infatuation is too shallow, she’ll be boning other boys.

As soon as she really swoons and is hopelessly physically yours, body mind and soul, you have trouble. Crazy serious trouble.

Multiple long term relationships are unstable. From three to six months is to be expected, but rarely you’ll break past a year.


I have successfully pulled off MLTR’s lasting more than a year. I do not have any special powers. I simply meet a LOT of women, take them on dates, turn them into fuckbuddy and then end up in a relationship with them where we both care about each other, provide mutual support and they ask me to be exclusive (or don’t bring it up) At which point I decline, and just continue to see them. If i recive an ultimatum, i tell them its my way or the highway.

That means you’re keeping it light and casual.

I left two girls that I had a year going with, so I could have extended past that. But one was fucking around, and the other was in the dark the whole time.

But if you work on getting the girls properly ensnared, sooner if not later the girls are going to fall in love, and that changes everything.

I like to ensare girls as deeply as possible. Own them and their mitochondria too. When you are the girls life, there is no casual easy going happy go lucky free for all anymore. Sooner or later, she WILL crack. And you might not see it coming. Like an earthquake, the invisible fault line will traumatically rupture.