I bristle at the common pick-up-artist advice to be aloof. You can be passionate, engaging, interested, flirtatious, horny, emotional, vivacious, and vulnerable, all while not being needy. The word aloof implies that you are none of the above. I prefer the term “amused mastery” to the word aloof. Aloof conveys negative connotations of being passionless.

However being aloof is a portion of game. It’s a portion of push pull, and it’s the attitude that you have abundance in your life and aren’t heavily invested in any particular gain or loss. In that sense being aloof is a main principle of amused mastery. But so is being playful and cheerful.

Consider aloof one ingredient in your sweet and sour sauce. Consider it the gin in your tonic.

Some people consider this important aspect of a care less attitude as the main principle of attraction. If a blind man grabs an elephant by the trunk, he’ll explain the elephant differently than the blind man who grabs it by the leg. Some people may hear the word aloof, and have it include the gestalt of the full elephant. When I hear the word, I find that it is the elephants huge ass, occluding most of the elephant. You can’t JUST be aloof.

If by aloof it is meant being barely interested, then it’s a misinterpretation of the cues you are sending out to say that being aloof is an attractiveness trigger. Yes, while being aloof, you may ALSO send out abundance cues. But you don’t have to be aloof to send those out, and you won’t be sending out other attractiveness cues while being aloof.

If you are tall and attractive and have not yet much experience with women, a shortcut to appearing more successful is to act aloof. It will broadcast the subtext that you are already getting plenty, and this will help get you laid.

If you are of average or below average appearance, you can’t take that particular shortcut, and must work on the deeper and more significant underpinnings of why that shortcut can work. You must build up comfort with girls, by fucking a lot of them – even if it means starting with older women. You must build up your social skills with women through constant dating or serial monogamy. You must work on your wealth, your appearance. You must do meditations and body centered practices to get you at ease in your own skin and your own mind. In short, you must do whatever it takes to convey ease and success and comfort and joy. People must be attracted to your presence. Once you do that, you’ll see that being aloof is actually unattractive – not attractive.

You want to have amused mastery, and to push and pull. You want to be able to be standoffish, and able to be passionately engaged. It’s a pleasurable joy of interaction, which you can at any moment afford to lose.