Q: What do you do for a living?

A: I do a few things. A little cosmetic surgery, a little corporate law, a little surfboard instruction. And odd jobs. My last project was helping out with some bridge engineering for a project in Taiwan. A few newspapers publish my advice column. I guess you could say I’m a dabbler.

Q: Ha ha. No, really. What’s your job?

A: Are you saying you don’t believe me? Ok, maybe not ALL those things. Mostly I clean toilets.

Q: Ewww! Come on. Be serious!

A: (Pause until she speaks again, holding eye contact.)

Q: I’m trying to get to know you. Don’t be so evasive!

A: Well, I don’t tell just anyone what my real job is. Maybe later.

Q: (Looks at watch) Ok. It’s later.

A: I sell fake passports. (look at her sideways as if judging her reaction to see if she’ll turn you in, look sideways to see if anyone was listening) No! No! Just kidding!

Q: Really?

A: Well, it’s a little embarassing, but if you MUST know, I seduce young rich women and get them to give me a monthly allowance.

Q: Oh, come on!

A: Na, not really. That would be unethical. I train cruise ship employees how to seduce the older women. Ya, I bet you didn’t know that’s part of cruise ship employment training nowadays, did you?

Q: Ha ha ha. I’m not going to give up you know!

A: Really? You must really be interested in me.

Q: Mr. Big Head! You just got me curious, that’s all.

A: My job? You mean right now? I’d say my job is to get you drunk.