But I have lost the ability to feel emotionally connected to women and would never be able to trust them.
I’ve been saying on this forum for months (years?) that in order to maximize quality of life, a balance must be sought between sentimentality and harsh pragmatism.
A balance is possible. It’s a matter of letting yourself slide into pragmatic moments of sappiness. You keep it reigned in, but not too much. Just like any art form, you don’t want to let it get too melodramatic, nor merely humorous, nor stone cold dramatic, but must constantly mix it up. Contrasts. It’s a balancing act, and any dramatist or musician knows that the mood requires admixtures of sentiment.
And by sentiment, I mean letting yourself go, to a degree. Enjoying the sunset, enjoying being embodied, bathing in the beauty level of immersion.
It’s completely against any of our better interests to lose the ability to bond. As we all know, that lowers quality of life.
No one here has ever been happier than when in love. It can’t be beat, and yes, it can be sustained. The same way springtime is sustained. In regular rhythms.
“Women crave for being loved, not loving” – Florence Nightengale
That may be true, Tupac, but women have a close enough facsimile to love. Devotion.
My last girl wouldn’t even let me take my own shoes off. It hurt her feelings if I ever did.
If that’s not love, who cares. Whatever it is, that works for me.
Women can be devoted like puppies.
focus instead on the real thinhgs you do or build together, Like fun trips you take together.
I found what made the biggest impression on my with my last romance was that whenever we went out, it was an erotic and outrageous display. We were really out there, and I found that at times when I closed my eyes images of those fun moments would flash.
And as for contrasts, as with push and pull as long as you’ve got balance, you can go to extremes. You can let yourself go full out 100% romantic sappy, especially when fucking, sometimes, as long as you also can go full out into violent rape play. You can have a conversation with your lips touching, as long as you can ignore her and tell her to shut up when you are busy. You can go full blast full on romantic, as long as you can go full blast full on dismissive – if that’s what her behaviour has earned. Overall, the trend should be towards a growing intimacy, with a careful finger on the guage of eroticism. If the eroticism is sliding while the comfort level is increasing, do something to make her jealous, and start saying things that make both of you conscious that she could cheat.
There is a meditation technique called tight and loose. In order to find mental balance, you explore the two extremes of trying too hard, and not trying hard enough.
Sentimentality is like that. In order to find balance, it’s helpful to sometimes alternate between extremes. There is no danger of imbalance if you are mindful of what you are doing and careful to time the alternations.
About alternating the moods, you get a feel for it. We all feel the mood in a house. Is it playful? Dark? Tense? Lively? Enervated? Relaxed? Boring?
If you’ve watched or listened to or read a lot of entertainments, you’ll know that there is always a change in mood, and that you can’t sustain any one mood without change. Even a song has a limited duration, and you can’t play many similar songs without having their impact diminish. You even need to mix with silence.
A composer of any entertainment eventually gets a body centered feel for the mood, for what would work next as the next change. Is your women offering you food less? Get a bit sappy. Is she getting listless? Fuck her so that the neighbours consider calling the police, spank her, and dress her in a trashy outfit and go buy groceries. Is she getting too clingy? Be snappy and aloof. The mood in the house will inform what’s next, the same way you handle your play list.
Really it is though. Women rely on men to babysit their minds. If you are pro-active about setting the mood, she’ll learn to trust and follow your lead. And you can then take the both of you to some very extreme places.
”Chemically, the serotonin effects of being in love have a similar chemical appearance to obsessive-compulsive disorder; which could explain why some people in love cannot think of anyone else. (# ^ Sandroni P (October 2001). “Aphrodisiacs past and present: a historical review”. Clinical Autonomic Research 11 (5): 303–7. doi:10.1007/BF02332975. PMID 11758796.) ”
Why you wanna be in love?
V – obsessive compulsion sucks. Sucks hard.
Sustained concentration at a task over a course of years leads to great success.
Too much of a good thing is bad. A good thing is still good.
Attitude is not an accident. It is a choice that takes practice. A positive attitude need not be polyanic. It’s a choice to take the best portion of life and amplify that.
Attitude is the number one most important component of game. People will want to partake of your attitude, if your attitude is appealing. If you enjoy your own attitude. Attitude is a body odor.