A lot of what is said on game forums gets past our P.C. think self-tarding blinkers and puts things in a harsh and useful perspective.
Thinking in terms of power dynamics is one such perspective.
The man must wage war, fight, and earn social domination. Relationship is NOT about compromise. It’s about power.
Having options is one key to power in a relationship.
After a lifetime of painting oneself into a corner, a man looks around in shock and says “This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!”
The problem isn’t that he didn’t treat the marriage with the appropriate level of game, inspiring attraction in his mate. The problem isn’t that his wife turned on him. It’s that he spent his entire life painting himself into a corner.
Options, options, options. Passport. Portable forms of income. Options with other girls or the ability to get them.
And why not apply that life philosophy to children? Is the nuclear family the only, or even the best way to love kids? Even granting that it could be the best, a strategic approach would be to live a life that is the enactment of planning options. The kids should have an extended network of support, such that if you leave, they can prosper.
Never have a life with only one road in front of you. If you do, it’s your fault to be stuck in boring go nowhere traffic congestion, not the fault of the other people on the road.
When married my wife would complain “You know marriage takes work. You have to take me out on dates. Keep things fresh.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I didn’t want to keep things fresh.
It took me a while to learn that you can’t tell yourself what to want. If you don’t want it, that’s that. Emotions are not a decision.
People who say that love is a choice and marriage is hard work have a very different notion of relationship than I do.
I follow my passions, I don’t enforce a lifestyle in the hope that passions will follow. Passions don’t follow.
People who plan for an elderly mate to wipe their ass in old age are not following passions. They compromise in the name of a commitment to security, and wind up with a passionless life. While risk takers live a life of passion. And loss. And renewal. And passion. We get springtimes of love, over and over. And summers and autumns and winters. Renewal.
Why indeed work to save a marriage? Work hard for something you don’t even want.
Let it die.
Protecting a marriage is like protecting an alpine forest from fire. It’s ecologically unsound, and you wind up with a raging uncontrollable inferno from all the built up deadwood anyway.
Marriage is like global cooling. At first the winters get longer, then approaches the glacier. How to cope? Build igloos? Roam across the tundra with wife and reindeer? Why cope at all when you can migrate to the places where the brown skinned girls are.
Protecting a marriage is like defending a snow fort. It seems important at the time, but you grow out of it.