I’m old enough that my vision is inevitably broader than yours. I’ve earned my irrascibility. Shut the fuck up, you empty headed nothing. You have no soul, you vacuous attention vampire.
I appreciate that you earn heaps of pleasure from pleasuring me, that you yearn to see the look on my face as I eat your breakfast offering. But please shut the fuck up. You have nothing to say. So don’t.
There is no need to ask me inane questions. We don’t have to commune through re-constituting memories. Don’t ask me questions that you know the answer to. That’s not fun communion.
Just please shut the fuck up. You are boring and dull and empty headed. That’s fine. Just shut up.
I don’t care that you are stupid, just please, shut up.
14 Saturday Jun 2008
Posted in Uncategorized
Random Xpat Rantings 
Is this what it boils down to? Once you scrape off all the layers of inanity, once you get down to the bold, decaffeinated, unsweetened truth of it? You don’t use the words girlfriend, relationship, romance… but the reason I read your blog is because I relate to your streaming associating way writing, moreover the content in it. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes mind vomit. The point is, you don’t have to mention those words. I hate having my life blood sucked out of me as well in exchange for anothers self-esteem.
So is that it? Once you work through all the motivations, lay them out on the table, it comes down to shut the fuck up, please? Certainly the Cinderella, happily-ever-after story is nothing to be taken seriously in this reality, but do you really think it is so bleak otherwise? Will you not/have you not found someone you enjoy being around to hear them talk. That entertain you by their way of being? Or maybe that is implausible by definition of our respective roles as male/female. Whatever you want male and female to mean.
I’d rather confront the reality of it than live in a dream world, so do you really think that’s all there is?
I’ve had some partners with whom I had regular delightful conversations. None in Asia, though. Asian culture generally produces people who fit in, which makes for dull or non-existent conversation, in the western sense.
Conversation isn’t my number one priority, and I’ve learned to not need it from my main squeeze, but sometimes I do really miss it. It’s the not good enough substitute that can be irritating.