ugly-jealous.jpgIt’s my experience that most women can not learn this: insecurity is a turn off.

Men can learn this. 

Jealous and clingy behaviour is a huge turn off, yet women constantly try to attack their men if they feel not loved enough, or if the man turns his gaze elsewhere. 

Pussy-whipping a man into a pet is the 2nd most un-sexy thing you can do.  The most un-sexy thing a woman can do is attempt to pussy whip a man and fail.

If you accuse your man looking for other women, or of preferring an ex to you, either your accusation is true, or it is false.  However there is no use in beginning this rational discussion with a jealous woman.  They are incapable of hearing anything but their strong emotions, and will only use words to confirm and bolster their view, or to gain sympathy, or for some other emotional manipulation.  To a jealous woman the value of reason is low, unless it can be used for emotional ends.  For the rest of us for whom reason holds truth values that trump emotion values, if you accuse your man being interested in other women, either your accusation is true, or it is false.  If it is true, what do you expect to gain from being a mosquito in his ear about it?  More love?  More attention?  Does that strategy actually work for you?  And if your accusation is false?

As far as I can see, it is a strategy with a 95% backfire rate.  You’d have to have the guy seriously wrapped around your finger and eating out of your hand to try to whip him and expect anything good to come from it.  Any man with any sort of alpha tendencies, a man who has been around a bit and isn’t dependent on you for his emotional stability – any real man, will be put off by you trying to manipulate him with piss and vinegar.  Man-boys are more easy to manipulate, but who wants to date them anyway?

It’s one thing to find out your partners emotions and intentions, and quite another to accuse him of having them. 

No matter how truthful and honest I am, if my feelings and intentions make a woman feel vulnerable, it is rare that a woman can suck it up and accept the fact that I have these emotions.  My emotions become an injustice to be punished. 

Leave me if I’m not giving you what you want!  Or don’t.  Where is the woman that can own her choices and the dis-satisfaction that those choices bring?  Blame blame blame.

If I’m unhappy with my woman, and lose hope in a change, well… it’s my fault for not attracting whatever it is I want.  If being pissy doesn’t actually work, being pissy doesn’t actually work.

A jealous woman can only hear whatever supports her anger and fear, or whatever supports a nurturing re-assurance.  She can not hear that the man is autonomous and has the right to his own path to happiness, and that making him unhappy with jealous accusations will push him away.  She can not hear that if the man is not what she wants, that is her responsibility, not his.

Not to mention that jealous emotions cloud the eyes with mirror-coated cataracts that reflect fear.  A jealous woman is barely in any position to see, let alone speak.  What percentage of jealous accusations are false?  I’m sure more than 50.

And I’m not going to make apologetic motions towards women, by making this a gender neutral post.  It isn’t gender neutral.