An article on one of my favorite blogs has inspired me to begin sharing stories of transformations.
Were your early twenties so vibrant and tumultuous as to belong to a historical “self”? I don’t tell people histories from selves past. It would be like trying to invest drama into tales of how afraid I was of the dark at age 4.
LSD affects the synapses without lessening the keen-ness of awareness. You get some weird ideas, some time dilation, some cognitive enhancements and impairments, but mostly, what you get, is the sense that the minds visions are plastic and temporary, and that despite the infinitute of possibilities, the hard question of awareness is primal and primary. No matter where you go and what you are – if you are a frog or a fly or tripping hippy, there goes that same primacy, timeless and beyond or before concept.
A lot of people needed answers to the questions that LSD provoked. We turned and upturned, looked in and out or sat with blazing intent to do nothing at all. We did more and dangerously more LSD. Many of those that intuited that wisdom was elusive and worth painful efforts started to feel as if they were onto something when they meditated. I was one of those seekers.
Self-hypnosis is a fun way to explore the plastic nature of mind. But it is barely related to meditation. I was experimenting with hypnotizing myself and friends from age 12, but it wasn’t until age 16 that I stumbled upon the meditation section of our library. Shunryu Suzuki. Baba Ram Dass. Thadeus Golas. Thinkers were touting the revolution of the mind-naught – the cosmonaut of the inner experience.
I’d walk the mile home during high school lunch to chant mantra for 1/2 hour, then walk the fifteen minutes back. That 1/2 hour altered my day, and day by day, I felt that those little times alone with my eyes closed were altering my being.
I still played a bit with self-suggestion; making and listening to hypnosis tapes that had me opening trap doors into my mind, going down escalators, relaxing muscles, and ultimately opening into a sense of love that pervaded not only each cell, but was suggested to permeate.