artzy04_small.jpgBefore puberty changed my brain, I was gregarious. Then I had bouts of manic-depression, obsessive compulsion, anorexia, neurosis, and social anxiety.

Some think that autistics and the less autistic folks with asperger’s have an extreme male-brain – their brain development inflenced by genetics and hormones in the womb to produce an excessively male brain. Extreme geeks – skilled at geeky things but clueless socially. I kept my desire to be social, but found it most easy if drunk.

Over years, the forebrain commanded social circuits to strengthen; I was shy but tried my best to be social. I admire my father, as a mortal might admire Zeus, or a dog might admire the two-legged who opens the cans. I can’t comprehend his powers. He plays guitar and other instruments and sings and tells jokes, and is at home in crowds.

Tonight, on the way to the net-cafe, a crowd of tweenagers invited me to drink and socialize and sing. And my heart was warm and I was at home and happy to meet them. The years and the intention did some re-wiring, and social circuits did get built. I’m an old geek. It’ s fun to see how we/I did create how I can relate.

Update: Even after the last page of a novel, I will not know the names of the major characters.

I can not remember either names or faces, unless I make a strong emotional bond with the person. I once spent a full day talking with an attractive girl, only to not recognize her the next day. But if it’s love at first sight or I feel the person became my true friend or is some-how connected to me, I’ll remember. It is difficult for people to understand me when I explain to them that I won’t remember their name.  After two minutes I will forget, and even being reminded 5 times won’t help. 

People with Aspergers often have some face-blindness. Head injuries, especially if incurred before the brain has developed an adult level of face recognition, are often the cause. I did have a nasty head injury when 9, and always blamed that for my memory problems. But it seems that some symptoms of mild Aspergers include trouble with face and name recognition, and social ineptitude.

Aspergers syndrome is condition where a person has a collection of neurological deficits, considered by some to be a less severe case of autism. Quite a few Aspergers are face blind, though not all face blind people have Aspergers. A high level of testosterone in the womb is implicated as a cause for aspergers.