soaked-age-difference1.jpgI used to be of the opinion that large age gaps meant that people were in different life stages, and so couldn’t relate to each other as well as people with more in common.

But in my early twenties, I preferred women from age 32 to 44. They had more to teach me, were less skittish, and were thrilled to be dating such a young man, so I felt quite appreciated.

Since age 37 I started dating mostly women in their early twenties. Now I’m forty, and my girlfriend is 23. That dynamic can be sexually charged and powerful. And I should mention that I’ve never been a sugar daddy. I pay for dinner.

My favorite line about this is from a twenty three year old lover I once dated for a year in Thailand. She was looking up at me with huge wondering eyes, and asked with heartfelt puzzlement, “Dad, I don’t don’t know why I love you Dad. You no handsome. You no have money. Why I love you Dad?”

When talking about age differences with western women, there is often the assumption that older men are less attractive. I’ve met several Asian women who prefer older guys. I know that some people just can’t believe this, or think they prefer the wallet of the older guy. But when I was young, my older girlfriends didn’t give me money. I preferred their maturity. Older guys can have a way about them that younger guys can not.

>QUOTE(stevo @ 2006-12-14 19:51:55)*

>… The best advice is to find someone around your OWN age, & education & go from there. Otherwise I think you may be kidding yourself, confusing being an ATM with being loved.

I don’t understand why you think someone your own age is better. Care to elaborate?

Older men tend to get more turned on by younger women, than women their own age. For a lot of men, especially men for whom sex and libido is a huge and important part of their lives, this is a big quality of life issue. Some people put passion – physical passion – at a high priority.

Some younger women like the feeling of being taken care of, of being nurtured. They don’t tend to get that feeling in the same way from a guy their same age.

To back up away from little details like this, let’s look at your assumption from the widest view. You think that both parts of the couple should be similar. So that they can share more, I assume.

But sometimes our inspiration comes from differences much more than similarities. Flint won’t spark against flint – it needs metal. I’m not attracted to men. Opposites often have much more of value that things that are similar. Even in running a business, one successful model is to get people with different talents and backgrounds together.

In mixing a drink, you put the lime in the coconut. For a lovely meal, you put the meat sauce into the pasta. Youthful fun loving vigor and maturity mix like cheese and wine.

A mate is not just a good buddy pal to hang and nod your head with. She is the complement that makes you into something different and new. She must be different than you to do this.