Regarding sex and transformation, I’m going to spend the next two months doing several hours of chi-kung per day, and meditating as much as I can as well. I’m serious about putting the rubber to the road, and not just talk a fancy talk. My teachers have said that a transformative path of mindfulness can be trod in the midst of a householder’s life, so I’ll put it to the test. I’m aiming for 24 hour a day awareness plus very strong spiritual power that can be transmitted or communicated with ease and strong effect. I was serious about the test of tapping you in your third eye from a distance.

The chi-kung is going well so far.

I’m happy right now to have a focus for mindfulness practice. The focus is sometimes thoughts, more so the physical body, but mostly the more subtle kinesthetic sensations that can flow beyond the boundaries of skin. Whatever they “really” are, is not a big issue to me. It is perfectly rational to focus on experiences that can be shared, even if there is no suitable theory to explain the experiences. No one can explain consciousness scientifically yet, but it isn’t considered irrational to talk about experiencing consciousness. It wasn’t irrational to talk about falling rain before a mathematical formula described gravity. It is understood that red has near universal emotional connotations, and artists are happy with their intersubjective interpretations, and that is not irrational either. I studied for several years with several well known chi-kung teachers, and dozens of people have very strongly felt my energy work, in ways that directly correspond to my subjective sensations, and the sensations of each other. So it seems completely rational to further that pursuit – even to take it to as much an extreme as possible. After a few months I’ll be at the height of my chi-kung ability so far, and may look to find a teacher to apprentice with. Perhaps in China, where the chi traditions flourish and are re-newed in prestigious hospitals. We’ll see. Just as interesting is the struggle to let awareness refine itself such that mind moments have continuity through transitions, such as between one thought and the next, or between the dream and deep sleep state, or dream and wakeful state, etc. That continuity is not easily won, but the effect is most pleasing. I like 24 hour awareness, in that it is so rude. So choiceless. A house guest that refuses to leave. Always subverting small thoughts and interjecting bits of light or pointing out meaningful coincidences, it is too clever to kick out. Instead of being thoughts or a body, they occur in a wider sense of knowingness that is not altered by them, nor separate from them. mindfulness is one key to dis-identifying with mind-moments, so attending to chi should help, but another key is directly seeing divinity, or regarding experience as transitory, or seeing emptiness, or resting in immediacy. Any way you say it, there is a way of active being, or looking, that is both the act and fruition of of the act – I mean, by feeling love, one generates, attunes to, and pays attention to love, and what’s more, one gets a sense of it’s meaningfulness non-conceptually. Like looking at a pebble – the meaningfulness of that experience is entirely 1st person and comes at one only in the immediacy of that experience. We can try to capture, bottle, preserve, and pass on the experience, but only a slap to the face is a slap to the face. When I talk about kinesthetic experiences realizing their essence as divine, I just mean that immediacy has some life of it’s own that can only be felt, and has it’s meaning not from contrast or comparison, but from it’s presence. Meaningfulness – just as good a word as God? Not quite, because chi is also effective, not just placidly present. You can transmit peace and love, and even reverence. And I’ve heard one can even transmit the background – the watcher, the union of watcher and watched that is not what is being watched nor any watching principle. Really powerful enlightened dudes are said to be able to give pointing out instruction. I won’t likely be able to do that in two months, but I can at least point out love. That is fairly straightforward and a goal worthy of challenging myself to.

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