How rough sex and mate guarding relate
Posted by xsplat on August 9, 2014
Pimp hand.
It’s been said that you can’t negotiate attraction, and if I’m reading Rollo correctly, he implies that mate guarding also can’t be explicit. One is meant to just get it and be the best option and cause dread and maintain sexual tension, thereby the woman will behave.
But that strategy is not usually optimal.
Mate guarding can be just another display of dominance. And just another facet of paternal love.
Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.
Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.
You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.
1) Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different kind of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.
2) Even though fancy boys may turn on your attention whore, and even though she is prone to temptation, just the very fact that you lay down the law is a big button – it can in the end work better than a pretty face.
3) Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.
A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.
An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.
It is an error to think that if the man is in such a weak position that he must mate guard, that he has already lost. It is simply part of the job description of being a man. If you do your job properly, sooner or later you must discipline your daughter. That is not a position of weakness, it’s a position of authority.
I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 who is now a long term companion/worker, and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. We share an easy sympatico, naturally. So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle. As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.
You don’t own it if you don’t claim it.
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[…] Pimp hand. It’s been said that you can’t negotiate attraction, and if I’m reading Rollo correctly, implies that mate guarding also can’t be explicit. […]
Dom said
Xsplat, if I remember correctly, in an earlier post you planned on impregnating 100 women and financially supporting all your children in order to build a biological empire (paraphrasing).
How’s that going? I love checking on this blog from time to time to get a taste of your extremely unconventional thinking.
Bingity Bong said
You have to hand it to the man, he has ambitions. And it isn’t as if it hasn’t been tried before; just think of wise King Solomon, and his 300 or so wives. But I have seen where people have written about how they will raise their children, the knowledge they are planning to impart in them. Good luck with that. King Solomon’s children split the Kingdom in half, owing to their personal ambitions, rivalry and avarice. If a man with the means set out to impregnate 100 women in this day and age, it would not be an impossible feat to accomplish. Women want to get pregnant. Just about any woman who sleeps with you would be open to the idea of getting pregnant, if she has any feelings at all for you. That is why condoms should always be near at hand.
xsplat said
It’s difficult for me to have LTRs with more than 3 women and some fuck budies at the same time. Even two women take a lot of time and attention. So one way to go about this would be to start two or three families, and in a few years, after the honeymoon period has died down, to add more girls to the family and impregnate them.
On the other hand my business plans include developing a gigantic international network of young attractive women, and a very attractive lifestyle. So the pipeline will be optimized.
A guy never knows what he will do until he has confronted opportunity. Developing and maintaining strong romantic bonds with multiple attractive young girls brings up challenges and solutions that are unusual – so unusual that to some people the very possibility of that lifestyle was unheard of before reading of it here.
Some people consider it so freakishly weird that it MUST simply not be possible. Especially for an older man. People get apoplectic at both the challenges and the solutions I live. I imagine people who think with their ego-protecting conclusions the sort who claim that middle aged men in red convertible sports cars are compensating for small penises. A penis is a real thing that can be measured, it isn’t subject to gossip. The size does not change out of some group concensus. My lifestyle here is also a real thing. I’ve had several visitors come out and meet me and my girls. The challenges and solutions and lifestyle are not something that some people want to be able to even begin to comprehend; some manboobs prefer to gather together and sling snotty disdain, as if that changes the actual reality through the power of group think. But westerners visit me and live with me; the penis is a measurable object, and the vibe here is a real thing.
Working with interns here has brought new challenges and opportunities, and I’m really glad to have started down that path. I’ll be continuing to build my tribe and family through business collaboration and networking. Such challenges change what is possible for me and who I am.
I will expect that starting families with babies must do the same.
I have a dog and I can see how there was a window of opportunity for learning and brain development, and can understand how important that window is to the future of the animal. Neglect a dog as a puppy and you’ll never get a maximized adult dog. And so for the children I don’t want to miss out on opportunities to maximize their future. So that will be a serious challenge too. I’ll have to keep in mind the girls social skills and support network.
I was seriously thinking about making M pregnant, but when stressed her mild and occasional personality disorder traits can get extreme. So I don’t see her as a safe bet, either for relating properly with me in the future, or even for proper mothering.
N of course also wants to be pregnant, but while now she is behaving well and is extremely doting and attentive, and tells me twenty times a day that she loves me, and shows it physically in every way she can in any private or public location, I don’t see her as mother material.
I would want the most rare and valuable of resources; well socialized and socially skilled smart young attractive women. Women with the best options. To choose me as the best option. And then I want to bring up children properly. Parallel in different families. Ideally we can even celebrate some group gatherings.
As of now my ex who is 32 is in a way sort of a first wife, and shares affection with N18. Yes, there is some jealousy in both directions, but I can see with my eyes that the first wife is an archetype. She moves out of the way sexually, but maintains some roles and is still family.
There is precedence for having multiple wives. It’s an old idea, but not an old fashioned one.
xsplat said
Examples of N18s improved behaviour:
* a few weeks ago she cut up her sim cards and (again) removed herself from facebook and dating websites
* yesterday she brought me breakfast, woke me with a blowjob and sex, rubbed me attentively all over with sunscreen, accompanied our group for a parasailing outing and wore a string thong, so we could all enjoy her little bum flying around in the air, was a pleasant dinner companion for the group, and then gave a nice beach blowjob, only pausing when the passers-by got too close. Later at night she arranged an in-hotel massage for the both of us.
I was surprised when she told me last week that it’s been exactly a year since we’ve been together.
Dom said
@ Bingity Bong:
If I remember right King Soloman had somewhere around 500 wives and 700 concubines. I agree that he was pretty hardcore. Luckily for him he was a king who I presume collected very substantial tax revenue to finance his ambitious mating project.
@ Xsplat:
How much do you anticipate your 100 children and 20-100 mothers-of-your-children costing you? I’ve read that it can easily cost $180k to raise a child from to post-college; will you have the funds to handle that x100? (Plus living the dream lifestyle yourself.)
Dom said
* from birth to post-college
xsplat said
I can see myself earning over 1/2 million per month before the first baby is born. And children are less expensive to raise in SEA.
Bingity Bong said
It often happens that if you do not maintain hand with people they will get way out of hand. I can think of a few celebrities wives who live in mansions worth tens of millions of dollars, despite the fact that they were making $13 per hour at a hot dog stand prior to their marriage. And they feel 100% entitled to whatever they can get their greedy little hands on. He OWES her, after all. Just because someone you met was living in a bamboo hut with a palm leaf roof when you met them does not mean that she will not feel entitled to 51% of your assets, if she can get away with it. The thing is, if you make babies with more than one woman you can almost guarantee that they will be craning their necks to count the number of beans served on the breakfast plate of any other baby you have made with another woman. Hell, they will even go so far as to use your children to conspire against you if and when they can. It isn’t just royal families who engage in backstabbing behavior. If you do a quick internet search, you will find that the princesses of the Saudi King are claiming that they are prisoners of the palace, that they are confined to their bedrooms, (with WIFI), and that they are not permitted to marry, (any potential usurper of The Crown). The head that wears the crown does not rest easy. And yes, King Solomon taxed the daylights out of his Subjects. But, his children warned the Subjects, after the King’s death, that while it was true that their father taxed them heavily during his reign, they were going to squeeze them until they bled out of their rectums; or something along those lines…
xsplat said
Their is no such thing as child support for unwed mothers here in Indonesia.
So if I don’t legally marry them any threat of divorce theft through the courts is gone.
Generally Indonesia is legally male friendly. A wife can’t just get a no-fault frivorce for cash and prizes here. That isn’t a thing here.
And my income is not at risk regardless. It’s portable and more. My assets are protected and will remain so as much as possible.
Yes, I expect all the women to be women, just as you described. I’m prepared, on all levels, for that. I will be building connections within all layers of society – from top to bottom, in the event that I require the extra persuasive power of powerful friends. Hand is important. When a girl knows her options have consequences, she will curtail her worst behaviors.
It’s true, you can’t just do this in the west. You need to be extremely well and carefully positioned, and do this from a position of extreme power.
Bingity Bong said
If I recall correctly, the founder of DHL knocked up a couple of kids, (literally kids), and the attorney representing the young mothers were able to dig into his money after his death, (like he cares at that point), they fought it out with UC Berkeley, because his will stated that UC Berkeley would receive the entire bequeath. UC had to compromise and give up a little to get a little.
xsplat said
Ya, paternity suits can be filed internationally. Having control over ones money requires unusual effort.
Bingity Bong said
Most of the guys I know who married early in life, and it tends to be an epidemic at around the age of 25, or at least it used to be, because that is when most women reach their ¨sell by¨ date, are now divorced. Some where kicked in the gut when the woman decided to move far away, taking the kids with her. Others are paying through the nose, writing checks each month. And some thought they were settling accounts for once and for all, only to find that they were being called back before the judge, and coughing up more money. Some guys are still married, and some of them look haggard. Others look like they are quick to anger. Oh, well… I just keep smiling.
Robert Dice said
This advice is pure shit except for a man in your unique circumstance. You are a white, older man of 1st world origin in a third world Asian country. You also have a considerable bankroll. You are leaps and bounds ahead of most of the native men she could ever meet.
In the USA, UK, or other western anglosphere countries.. attempting to “own” a woman and “laying down the law” is a horrible hand to play. It will just telegraph neediness and inspire a “oh ya?!!” reaction in woman. They might pretend to go along with your “iron fist” for a while but ultimatly because of the massive culteral difference and the fact your value isn’t that much higher ( unlike your rockstar status in SE asia ) you’ll loose in the end.
The sad fact is, the only way to really win in the anglosphere is to just not care. Not trying to trump up another dudes blog, but the advice over at blackdragon-blog is probably the best I’ve ever seen when it comes to dealing with women in the west. I mention the west since most of the readers here are most likely from the USA or UK.
I’ve read a lot of your particular brand of “Game” advice and while it seems like it would work well as a white man in SE asia.. in the western anglosphere it would work horribly. Sometimes I wonder if you have lost touch with what it’s like back here in the anglosphere since you have been living in your bubble for so many years.
If you disagree, I’d challenge you to come to a major east coast city in the United States and not only bang good looking women 25-30 years younger than yourself but also explicitly let them know you are banging other women and that they are “yours”. Assuming you even made it far enough to bang a hot 25 year old here, I’d love to know if they would treat you even HALF as good as the women are treating you in SE asia. I seriously doubt it.
xsplat said
I wonder if I took 10,000 posts over and over explaining that it’s much easier to date younger women in SEA if readers would stop trying to inform me of the obvious.
Take a look at the haters tag for posts relating to the differences in dating here.
And yes, there are men in the west who use the techniques I outline here. I just watched a movie last night about a wife leaving her husband for a rich bad boy, and his techniques closely matched mine. Did you know there are pimps in the US too?
Yes, of course you need value. Yes, of course that’s easier to have in SEA. And the sky is blue. And it’s still cross culturally useful advice.
If you can make yourself valuable.
Some guys do that with merely the value of their cock. But if you need more advice on how to be valuable I’ve written about that too. http://xsplat.wordpress.com/?s=value and http://xsplat.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/how-to-keep-a-woman-in-aquisitive-mode/
Bingity Bong said
Isn’t there an older film along that genre with Eric Roberts, and I don’t know who else? What was the name of the film you just saw? Some films have realistic themes, but then they go over the top with the social proposition they are addressing. Like the film in which Robert Redford offers a guy a million dollars to sleep with his wife, I think it co-starred Woody Harrelson, I forgot who the female lead was. The only thing that wasn’t plausible was the idea that money was being offered. They skewed the whole story into the land of fiction. Was the author of the previous reply commenting from England? It sounds like he was sipping a bitter cup of tea.
revolutionarylifestyledesign.com said
This is very true X, assuming you’re decent looking, rank trumps looks every time. Look back to high school, the most popular guy always got more girls than the best looking guy. Women are more primitive than men, that means more emotional and more influenced by rank. They want the highest value man as a lover and a provider. Thats what a lot of guys in the pick up community miss, its not alpha vs provider, they want a guy who is both, when they can’t have him they’ll take an alpha lover or a beta provider but those are backup strategies not their ideal ones.
Bingity Bong said
Beta guys aren´t too interested in beta girls, either. They are upset that the hot girls aren´t into beta guys, but beta guys aren´t tripping over one another to get beta girls. Plus, the beta girls aren´t going to be very impressed with any guy who is desperate enough to join her team. Alpha guys aren´t even interested in totally beta chicks, not even as fuck ´em and chuck ´ems. Not worth the risk of getting them pregnant. Or being seen with someone really subpar, which can hurt your social image in women´s eyes. Plus, you have to remember that your dick actually has to get hard in order to do the deed, and that requires someone who appears sexually appealing to begin with.
revolutionarylifestyledesign.com said
You also make a great point on the daddy/daughter, mother/son frame. I would say 70% of guys never liberate themselves from their mothers and seek out the mother/son frame in relationships, this is your typical married man being nagged by his wife to pick up his socks. They just go from one woman telling them what to do to another, and of course this is devastating for female attraction because women only love up, but they settle because alphas won’t commit, or at least, won’t commit to them.
The daddy/daughter frame is the most powerful retention tool in the world. Girls can like all the pretty boys they want but nothing trumps being daddy, I know because I’ve been both.
Bingity Bong said
Some girl who is definately young enough to be my daughter, if I had one, was making a pass at me the other day; I pretty much ignored her, and her final gambit was to call me daddy. I think I´m going to hit it.
RevLifestyleDesign said
Haha, gotta hit it, every man wants a harem of loving, beautiful teenage girls, and when guys get enough power, ie. every dictator, thats exactly what they do, its just human nature.