How to maintain loving passionate Multiple-LTRs.
Posted by xsplat on June 4, 2014
I’m faithful to all my girls.
I won’t leave one for the other. I fuck them enough, spend enough quality time with them, and take care of their physical and financial needs. They know that as long as we are happy together that they have a future with me. That’s this man’s version of faithful.
I demand faithfulness in return. Females get pregnant and tend more towards emotional serial monogamy, and so female faithfulness means no other cock.
I’m not a playboy. I don’t philander and I don’t pump and dump. I have serious, passionate, interdependent soul and life entwining love relationships with all of my women.
But being able to do so is very similar to being able to be a writer. Or being able to be an entrepreneur. Or from what I’m told it could be similar to being able to be a balet dancer, or a comedian. You don’t do it because you want to do it. You do it because you have no other choice.
In order to get good at something difficult, something has to keep bringing you through the impossibly difficult times. Something has to drive you again and again through tensions and irritations. It has to be worth it.
For most people having more than one love interest would never be realistically worth it. So they would never gain the level of experience that is required to pull it off.
Sure, if an aspiring comedian could push a button and gain the comedy skills of a Steve Martin, he’d push it and enjoy being a comedian. But if he had to actually go through the arduous and uncertain years and decades to gain that skill and fruition? No. Nobody would do that. Nearly nobody would find it worth it.
You have to have no choice.
Writing is like that. You write because you have no other choice. Your brain is simply wired up to give you certain types of rewards for certain behaviours. You like to systematize thoughts and gain a pleasure in some polemic, whereas others prefer light chit chat and comforting ideas such as the belief that size doesn’t matter. People veer towards agreeableness and group-mind-delusion, or towards truth seeking and independence. Writers write alone, and gain a type of pleasure that haters label as “pseudo-intellectual”. The intellectual life is a stimulation that is pleasing, and the writing is mind sport. Invigorating like a well played tennis match.
And so it is with maintaining the passionate love of more than one woman, long term. If your brain is wired to give you the rewards for both love and non-monogamy, you will have a drive that most don’t and this can force you towards a skill that most never think to even contemplate.
I’ve been seeing both of my current girls for about 9 months now, fucking each from one to five times a day, most days. M25 has been with me for 3.6 years, with an early 4 months of that while I lived with another girl, and about 2.5 living together full time. N18 has been my doting bitch since we met 9 months ago. The passion with both of them is screamingly off the charts; peak experiences every day, after day, and a love bubble the rest of the time. I’m rarely alone, and why would I be.
Girls will do absolutely everything in their power to make a man monogamous. And they will never stop. Ever. Non-monogamy with any level of sexual and romantic intensity is unstable. You will get vicious threats. You will see girl fights. Every possible thing a girl can do to regain monogamy she will do. To maintain stability in such a situation a man needs to be more than just psychologically experienced. It helps to have hand in all areas.
Generally we are all specialists. Some men specialize in the one night stand, and don’t offer much emotionally other than thrills. Others are comfort and security and stability experts. I specialize in both areas – dopamine and oxytocin. I can give a woman ongoing high quality sexual heat and top notch sex, and make her feel like she is constantly in the midst of a passionate romance. And I can make her feel like she is part of a family that cares for her that she wants to care for; even if it’s just our family of the two of us, she belongs and we are the tribe. Lately I’m able to offer inclusion into a bigger tribe. And yet still I’m a specialist. My speciality is passion. I know how to quickly develop strong passion with a girl, and I know how to maintain and grow it day by day. Week by month and year after year. This is a very rare skill, and if you say that you want to have this skill, do you?
Do you want to be a writer?
Do you want to be a comedian?
Do you want to be a master guitar player?
Do you want to put in your 10,000 hours?
Unfortunately, I don’t think it is a matter of want.
MUST you put in your 10,000 hours? Do you have no other choice in life?
If you want to grow a compulsion, pay attention to the rewards you feel.
I deliberately focus on feeling the rewards of love. Often. And sex. These rewards are crucial to me, and so I keep the top spinning.
These compulsions are a deliberate choice. Sex, chi-kung, entrepreneurship, raising my value in every possible way, building a joyful and rich community, even thinking and writing – all of these are a deliberate system to raise overall joy and maintain the best possible momentum of this spinning top. I know exactly what I’m doing and why, and I know how. And I’m old enough to have other histories in my life to give context to my current choice-less choice. I’ve fully explored other important compulsions, such as living as a monk, a meditative hermit, in meditation centers, and a family-man yogi. The current compulsions are carefully chosen, and properly cultivated. I know what I’m doing and why, and I know how to do it.
In order to succeed, you need to have no other choice. But you can choose to have no other choice. By deliberately focusing on the rewards. Not the rewards you hope to get, but each reward you do feel as you get it. You can train yourself the way Pavlov trained his dogs, and feel compelled by the rewards.
Learning to generate and feel love in your heart while alone is an excellent way to appreciate and sensitise to the rewards of interpersonal love. You’ll learn a language of feeling that will make the two of you glow among the zombies. Learning to appreciate beauty will allow your eyes to heat up a woman with your lust until her knees get weak. Learning to let go into finely orchestrated screaming ecstasies will sympatheticaly arouse a girls A game.
The rewards are there, and you can learn that you don’t want to ever again be without them. And why would you?