Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

The underground economy of attention energy and energy vampires

Posted by xsplat on December 6, 2013

energy-vampiresI bet you didn’t know this, but once I explain it you’ll think to yourself “Ya, I knew that all along, I just didn’t know that I knew it”.

It’s said that introverts only have so much social energy to spend each day, or each week, and when they get drained they need quiet time to recharge.

Well, that’s a weakness. Therefore, according to Darwin, there will exist some entity that will exploit that weakness.

Women are energy vampires by design. They try to drain your attention so that you won’t have enough social battery left in you to engage freshly in a positive frame with other girls.

Have you ever met someone who always asks you to repeat yourself, no matter how clearly you enunciate or how loudly you speak? “I didn’t bring any money”. “What? You didn’t bring any money?” “Yes.” “Really?” Some people will keep this up until you’ve repeated yourself 5 times before they are willing to let the knowledge sink in. It’s as if they want you to do the difficult mental processing for them. Does not instantly compute? Ask for repetition. Not exactly what you were expecting? Ask for repetition. But it’s not that simple – the same people who do this are the same people who suck all the attention out of a room. It’s just a subtle look-at-me feed me attention game. Oh! You’re speaking to me and feeding me attention! Do it again! Do it again!

Look at the people in your life and you’ll notice which ones demand you to process their thoughts for them, instead of doing it internally. You’ll see which ones constantly demand affirmation and re-affirmation. Can a girl stay with you in a room and be QUIET and make the space feel warm and loved? If not then she’s an energy vampire. She’s not just doing it because she feels insecure. She’s doing it because it’s also a strategy to drain your limited relational battery.

Attention is a limited resource. We only have so much to spend. Many pathological mental strategies, such as those employed by BPDs, are forms of energy vampirism. Its to a womans advantage to get you worked up and pissed off at her. You will lose the spring in your step and need time by yourself until you are again at your best. Unbalancing you strengthens her hold on you, because it makes you weaker, and therefore less attractive.

Women ALWAYS want to betafy their man. Always. They will use these nasty underground manoeuvres. You’ll usually never notice. It’s so low it almost always goes under the radar. Step by step women will try every angle and poke and prod at you to weaken you until you give in and just give her all your attention.

But being a man means holding inside you this strong feeling of individuation and internal power and love. You own it, and can share from that space. She wants to own you, all of you, and will never satisfied with anything less.

I’m talking to myself here. I’m trying to train my 18 to shut the fuck up more, and I always cut her off the instant she tries to flare up even a hint of drama. And I’m trying to train her to stop kissing me so often, or follow me around, or stare at me so much. And it’s occurring to me that more is at stake than just training a woman. It’s also about leaving space in my own energy system for a larger social life. Not letting her get so much attention that I have none left to give.

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11 Responses to “The underground economy of attention energy and energy vampires”

  1. thegreatshebang said

    As usual, a useful post on a topic that otherwise receives too little attention, no pun intended

  2. Dave said

    Could not have been said at a better time

    I read your brinkmanship rules and the part where you said pinch her lips if necessary whenever she says we need to talk and how it’s just a power play like everything else. ARGH AND TO THINK I THOUGHT THAN Normak Humans who do in fact need reconciliation during that kind of emotional plea. Blaaasrghjj

    Then I remembered the Qigong principle of where your attention goes it grows

    Bingo now I am putting up strong boundaries and will say I don’t want to hear it unless it’s beneficial to my life

    Makes sense. I see why in Asian and Muslim cultures they gave ancientaphorisms like a closed mouth catches no flies.

    Frame control and strong boundaries. Duly noted

  3. […] […]

  4. VampiraDUNDA said

    It is not just women that fall into this category. My current assignment, we have had to deal with dozens of very unintelligent people in a technical field.

    I’d be asked repeatedly to jump on a call and explain the same thing over and over again to the same people. They would then come back with the same questions and ask you to join another call with them. Dozen times, two hour calls. Dealing with masses of them lead to sensory overload, withdrawal, low energy and lack of motivation.

    I am glad to be finishing this assignment soon. They are unrepentably unforgivably boldly stupid. None of them were Chinese or South East Asian. Look out for a number of Chinese people in a big team, might be a useful statistic.

    • xsplat said

      Ya, I have two broad social goals right now. One is to broaden my social circle, including meeting new women, but the other is to raise the bar as to the quality of association.

      I know a bit about starting new businesses, but starting new social circles is a new idea for me. It seems like an important direction to pursue.

      The best and the brightest like to associate. We not only help each other, but we can relax and laugh so much more. We speak and understand each other with quick ease, and the creative spark jumps.

  5. […] I bet you didn’t know this, but once I explain it you’ll think to yourself “Ya, I knew that all along, I just didn’t know that I knew it”.  […]

  6. […] Look at the people in your life and you’ll notice which ones demand you to process their thoughts … […]

  7. This is very good, very astute. Perhaps I’m crude, but I just say “stop talking” or put my finger to my lips to make a shhh sound.

  8. […] The underground economy of attention energy and energy vampires […]

  9. JAcob said

    True dat! I am slowly learning to tolerate less and less from the energy suckers. Part of it comes down to the last vestiges of beta programming, where we feel like we need to respond to everyone who demands our time. I’ve understood energy vampires before, but NEVER put 2 and 2 together to see it from a Red Pill perspective. Very interesting. I love how you framed it as females trying to drain your battery so you can’t chase goals/other women, etc. I’m definitely going to step my non-supplicating game up today! haha Great post!

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