The underground economy of attention energy and energy vampires
Posted by xsplat on December 6, 2013
It’s said that introverts only have so much social energy to spend each day, or each week, and when they get drained they need quiet time to recharge.
Well, that’s a weakness. Therefore, according to Darwin, there will exist some entity that will exploit that weakness.
Women are energy vampires by design. They try to drain your attention so that you won’t have enough social battery left in you to engage freshly in a positive frame with other girls.
Have you ever met someone who always asks you to repeat yourself, no matter how clearly you enunciate or how loudly you speak? “I didn’t bring any money”. “What? You didn’t bring any money?” “Yes.” “Really?” Some people will keep this up until you’ve repeated yourself 5 times before they are willing to let the knowledge sink in. It’s as if they want you to do the difficult mental processing for them. Does not instantly compute? Ask for repetition. Not exactly what you were expecting? Ask for repetition. But it’s not that simple – the same people who do this are the same people who suck all the attention out of a room. It’s just a subtle look-at-me feed me attention game. Oh! You’re speaking to me and feeding me attention! Do it again! Do it again!
Look at the people in your life and you’ll notice which ones demand you to process their thoughts for them, instead of doing it internally. You’ll see which ones constantly demand affirmation and re-affirmation. Can a girl stay with you in a room and be QUIET and make the space feel warm and loved? If not then she’s an energy vampire. She’s not just doing it because she feels insecure. She’s doing it because it’s also a strategy to drain your limited relational battery.
Attention is a limited resource. We only have so much to spend. Many pathological mental strategies, such as those employed by BPDs, are forms of energy vampirism. Its to a womans advantage to get you worked up and pissed off at her. You will lose the spring in your step and need time by yourself until you are again at your best. Unbalancing you strengthens her hold on you, because it makes you weaker, and therefore less attractive.
Women ALWAYS want to betafy their man. Always. They will use these nasty underground manoeuvres. You’ll usually never notice. It’s so low it almost always goes under the radar. Step by step women will try every angle and poke and prod at you to weaken you until you give in and just give her all your attention.
But being a man means holding inside you this strong feeling of individuation and internal power and love. You own it, and can share from that space. She wants to own you, all of you, and will never satisfied with anything less.
I’m talking to myself here. I’m trying to train my 18 to shut the fuck up more, and I always cut her off the instant she tries to flare up even a hint of drama. And I’m trying to train her to stop kissing me so often, or follow me around, or stare at me so much. And it’s occurring to me that more is at stake than just training a woman. It’s also about leaving space in my own energy system for a larger social life. Not letting her get so much attention that I have none left to give.