Get your sea legs if you want real pleasure in life
Posted by xsplat on November 29, 2013
“Manosphere-boobs who prefer to blame the bitches for being unlovable and pump and dump them rather than go through the pain of maturing their LTR and interpersonal skills.”
This is something NEVER addressed in the MS, presumably because it’s deemed bad for sales/traffic. (There are some heavy hitting motherfuckers out there who preach otherwise, and they’re right, in my personal experience.) What a great disservice to the various communities of males seeking to improve their lives regarding inter-sex relations. Internalizing the belief that females are bitches (in a negative rather than fun way) and that pumping and dumping is the way to deal with them, changes one’s OWN internal wiring in a way that the vast majority of males will not be happy with for long-term purposes in their OWN lives. Then they’ll be faced with having to work themselves out of that mindset (once they’ve gotten good at it!) in order to move toward more healthy and fulfilling relations with others. An unnecessary self-imposed hurdle along one’s path. In fact, the quickest way to solid inter-sex relations is to LOVE what you want, NOT despise it. (With healthy boundaries, of course.)
The dark triad stuff works in the short term, but it will blow back on you in the long term. And after all, you ARE implementing a long term strategy for YOUR life, right? Think of the dark triad stuff as a way to radically shift unproductive mind-sets in the short term, to learn to define your boundaries, but not as a long-term tactic for your OWN personal wellbeing. Do YOU like spending time with people who treat YOU with dark triad techniques, female or male? This applies not exclusively to LTRs, either, but also to Rs, in general. Short term flings can be totally healthy, no need to treat another human like shit to enjoy sharing a bit of your life with them.
For the vast majority of males, the damage inflicted on others and upon ONESELF by acting on the world from a spiteful mindset will have to be addressed at some point, because they will never be content with the resulting life they create for themselves from a spiteful stance. Far easier to understand the uncomfortable truth going into the fire, to be aware of it, stare it down as it arises, iteratively deal with it, and make adjustments in real time, rather than constructing an unhealthy internal edifice (and external consequences) that will have to be deconstructed in one’s future.
To the newer readers, you might consider going into all of this with your eyes open to the harsh realities revealed by the MS and the courage to deal with your OWN shit as it arises during your own personal process of change, rather than unfairly putting it onto others, and rather than putting your OWN internal work off for later. Good chance this will accelerate your own growth by avoiding altogether a bog that many in the MS have clearly sunk into. Also, don’t think for one second that every proprietor in the MS is past this stage themselves—just not the case—kind of sobering when one considers the quantity of males being influenced by these proprietors. You might consider thinking of it as avoiding the accumulation of “personal growth” debt that you’d rather not have to work off in your future.
Alternatively, go through it, if that’s your path. Either way, just move forward and do your best to avoid the traps.
The human is wired to give itself the most exquisite sugar rush of all: the rush of empathetic socio-sexual communion. A lovers glance, touch, gestures, food, care, blowjobs, sex and even silent accompaniment can each fill a man with sublime pleasure.
It is not just women who have sexuality enhanced through emotions. Sex with a hottie that you are into will arouse much more intense feelings than sex with someone who doesn’t turn you on. Men can be turned on emotionally. We are built for it.
And yet we can also lose touch with that ability. Use it or lose it. Many men have only been in love a small handful of times.
And men don’t learn how to deal with love in a way that they maintain any sense of finesse. The get lost in the tumult, and overwhelmed, to the point that they crash their boat on painful rocks and become broken. And after scrambling to shore, some manage to get to back out to sea, but it’s the rare man who becomes a hearty and skilful blue water seafarer.
The ocean is rich. We are built for this.
But you have to earn your sea legs. The most skilled mariners can handle huge waves and navigate under stars into unknown waters.
There are entire cultures of people who live by the sea but who are too timid to even get their navels wet. The ocean seems too dangerous to swim in.
And there are now entire cultures of men who don’t even realize the value of the ocean. Who have no concept of how to USE the ocean.
And then there are people who are skilled at getting their boat in and out of the docking slip and out for a spin around the bay. Those are called PUAs. They think they know something about the ocean.
They know a bit about how boats work, but their mariner knowledge is relatively shallow. It would be fair enough to say PUAs don’t know shit about the ocean, really. Not the real ocean, outside of the nearby harbor waters.
When you are a blue water mariner you can dive deep and get a woman to swoon deep fast. The game is entirely different, and the payoffs are entirely different. The level of life satisfaction you can reach is entirely different. It’s not just the skills involved that are different; the hormones involved are different. You get the value and meaning and pleasure from oxytocin infused into your life, along with a more steady hit of dopamine and raised testosterone and so forth. Oxytocin is a life requirement. If you are not getting a lot of that, you’re doing it wrong.