Want serial and parallel monogamy? Learn by doing.
Posted by xsplat on October 2, 2013
So far most of the interest in the manosphere has been about how to bed girls. Not so much interest or info is out there for what to do after that.
But if you want to have some steady girlfriends and at least one main woman who dotes on you with all her being, then you will want some solid relationship skills. There is only one way to get them. By continuing to date the girls after you fuck em. By becoming the man who wants to do so, and who is good at doing so.
Boar said: Hm, I understand what you’re saying (about raising your value to be able to get better women) and I agree, but if this was the only way to get women, people would spend decade after decade working on their value and that would mean most people would have satisfying love lives when? – in their 40′s and 50′s? What to do between puberty and that time; go for any girl that wants you whether she’s ugly or fat or resign yourself to porn?
Renfrew said: For what it’s worth, I’ve always a) gotten a kick out of, and b) found a plain-spoken wisdom in one of David Lee Roth’s quips about women.
We’re talking about a man who got started in his early teens with girls, and then became a rock star with women flinging themselves at him for decades. By his own account, bedding 5 women at once was his personal record. He’s never married, but admits to having been in love a few times, and he’s now in his 50s with a serious girlfriend in her 20s (not sure about his extracurricular activities, if any). Anyway, let’s agree that Dave’s about as charismatic, good looking, rich, confident, high social status and genuinely accomplished a gentleman as you’ll statistically encounter.
His take, back in his heyday?
“No, I don’t get all the women that I want. But I do I get all the women that want me!”
Point being, I think: you’ve always gotta choose from among the women (and, more importantly, the “sex & love & lifestyle” options…which you should have more imagination about than 98% of PUAs do, agreed) that you’ve got at a given stage of your life.
Second point being: no matter how awesome those options are (or look to an outsider to be), your appetite’s gonna tend to be even bigger than your options. (See a previous post by Xsplat on how one’s ambitions grow to accommodate expanding realistic possibilities.)
I hear a lot of guys commisserating, and then opting for the pump and dump strategy. To such guys I want to offer some heart felt and friendly brotherly advice. Don’t get sucked into a lifestyle of circular negativity, where you create for yourself a world of limited and poor options.
If you want women in your life, learn how to be good with them even after you fuck them. To do that, start where you are and date what you can get. Make yourself better at everything you can and work your way up. Take every advantage you can.
There is no shame in dating older girls. There is no shame in moving to a place where you are a big fish in a small pond. Get the best you can get, but get it. Don’t throw your hands up in the air and blame society. It’s on you.