The advantages to remaining open hearted
Posted by xsplat on August 22, 2013
Hermitsy says: One thing that I haven’t yet resolved is my beta/needy feelings and need for similar connection that I had with my ex in our honeymoon period. May be you only love once… I enjoy company of other women but I me never let them get too close to me. May be I am still a little chode inside or is it just the way it is going to be for the rest of my life. How did you deal the past with your ex after all these experiences?
Krauser replied:[Everyone needs to have their heart broken once. K.]
I just installed a 17 year old lover into a 2nd apartment. She is extremely affectionate, sexual, caring, doting, and shows every sign of being infatuated. She claims two other boyfriends and 2 years since her last dick. She had her first orgasm in her life on my dick on the 2nd date, and fell for me pretty hard on the first.
I’m 30 years older than the attractive young woman, and am short, balding, and ugly. The only reason I got the internet based date in the first place is because she thought I was someone else.
I think I know how I did it. I think I know how I always do it.
You see, I have a long history of having first dates go so well that the girl immediately wants to move in. Attractive girls who have hordes of eligible suitors, many rich and handsome, have fallen in mutual love with me and moved right on in after our first meeting. With one girl we fucked within 30 minutes of seeing each others face, and even that first fuck was making love. Usually we wait a few hours.
I try to tell people that there are other seduction styles, but it’s either going over most peoples heads or it is so far outside of their experience that they simply have no frame of reference for it, and so have no idea what to make of it. Is it because I’m in SEA? Does it have something to do with Tantric Sex? Is it all exaggerations and lies? Or is it just a long series of anomalies that can’t be related to anybody else’s personal experience?
I had my first girlfriend at age 3, and every year since then I’ve been infatuated with at least one girl per year. I’m a born romantic, with OCD level intense infatuations.
The manosphere theory goes that you have to jettison all that. Get heart broken at least once and get over it. That’s the only way you’ll ever get emotional hand, and the only way you’ll stop being a chump, and the only way you’ll become the dominant attractive ALOOF man that women crave.
Well, maybe that works for some people, but my life is all the proof that I need to show me that there are other styles that can work. And that can work extremely well.
I once forced upon myself a very painful meditation practice. I was once again in a painful unrequited love affair – I was obsessed over a 24 year old prom queen when I was 32, living in the US. I was in the middle of long dry spell, so infatuations came easily. We had some powerful moments together, but I never even fucked the girl. Anyway, I decided to just let my heart be as it was; as big as the room. To just let that powerful energy flow through me, day after day without damping it down. Just as a mental discipline.
I had some vague philosophies to bolster my resolve, but I suppose in some way I was just curious to see what would happen.
Eventually I decided to do what most people do, and to harness the power of anger to ex-communicate thoughts of her out from my nervous system. That calmed me down, and I felt better. And soon thereafter I decided against the un-requited love meditation.
However I believe it was a valuable exercise, and one that has helped me, even now years later.
I still fall in love, with regularity, at my age. I had a live in of 1 year die on me about 3 years ago, and the grief was a level of anguish that I can not communicate. Imagine waking up to being in a dentist chair, being in that chair all day, and then in your dreams dreaming of being at the dentist. The horrendous pain lasted about 6 months.
And what got me out of it was another infatuation. Another love at first sight. She was singing love songs to me on the first date, and is living with me today. Got her virginity, and she claims she now wants no other man for the rest of her life, even knowing as she does I spend many days and some nights with a new girl.
People don’t believe in romance. They say girls don’t feel romantic. But I’m a life long expert on romance. I know it inside and out. I’m so familiar with it that I fall in love and get girls to fall in love with me on the first date. It’s routine. It’s habit. It’s what I do. It’s so habitual that I doubt I could ever stop it – it’s who I am.
And one main secret to it all is to never stop being able to fall in love – to be CAPABLE of not shutting down your heart. To have that as a decision, and an ability. To never lose that power.
People do lose that power. They decide at an early age that love just isn’t worth the pain.
Yes, the pain is inevitable. It’s either going to be pain or frustration, eventually – love doesn’t last.
But for me it’s not only worth it – it is the only possible life choice – the only logical, meaningful choice, because it brings many orders of magnitude more joy and pleasure. And power too. God, there is no feeling more powerful than kundalini style sex with a very attractive woman who loves you madly and is in the uncontrollable throes of passion for you.
I have a nice new infatuation going on now. Met the girl just a week or so ago, and she’s deeply hooked, and I admit so am I. When I smell her I allow myself to get totally drunk. No reservation.
Just that one image itself should be enough for the careful reader. That’s the main thing you really need to know to understand my method.
Of course you’ll need to balance being in love with all the things I didn’t know as that 32 year old, most of which have to do with dominance and directing the woman from a position of authority and humor.
If you assume authority and can remain casual in your approach while at the same time naturally reveling in your appreciation, you’ve got a winning combo. She’ll fall into your world as if she knows deep down in her being that she always belonged in it.