Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Low affect=low quality life

Posted by xsplat on June 6, 2013

anhedoniaThere is a pivotal thread in the manosphere today, on the RVforum here. I recommend reading the whole thread.

The OP little wing writes:

I don’t have any feelings

Hey guys, I thought I’d share a bit of my current situation and maybe someone who has been through the same can help me.

The problem is, I don’t feel any emotions.
I’m depressed quite often and very apathetic.
I tried changing all the stuff in my life that I can change but it doesn’t make me feel better. The things that make me feel down are the few things I cannot change, however much I want to.

Life feels meaningless. I feel tired, sort of thin, like butter scraped over too much bread. Life is trivial, nothing seems to give me pleasure anymore.

Ever since I was a kid I never felt any great attachment to anything. I remember when my grandpa died when I was 7 and I didn’t feel sad or guilty or any other emotions that people would experience. I knew how other people felt and tried to emulate it but I never truly experienced those by myself. Everybody was crying during the funeral and I just stood there not knowing what to do. During football I never got passionate about the game, I just went through the motions, when my team won big games I didn’t truly feel happy, when we lost heartbreakers I just felt well nothing. Same with golf, playing well and winning tournaments didn’t make me happy either. I don’t feel happy when I’m around friends or bang hot girls. I don’t feel amazed by the amazing environment around me. I only see what everyone around me feels and say “well in that situation I should feel this so I pretended to feel that”. I feel like I am watching my life. It’s right there. And I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it and I just can’t.

The whole human experience is about feeling emotions and learning them and mastering them. Right now I’m feeling like I don’t belong here, like my life is pointless if I don’t feel anything.

From an objective point of view, I’ve got everything in life going for me.
I excel academically, have many friends, I’m good with people and girls, I am good looking and by having a good education I am better off than probably 70% of the rest of the world. But I just can’t seem to value these things, it’s difficult to value things you didn’t have to do without at some point in your life.

I watch all these other people. Classmates, friends, strangers. How they are happy about all those little things. How they take pictures of their food and post it on Instagram to get some likes.

How they post stupid self pics on Facebook, gossiping about other people, talking about the newest clothes they bought. All that stuff doesn’t interest me.

There’s a quote from Dexter which pretty much sums up how I feel and it goes like this:”People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well, that’s my burden, I guess”

One of the more interesting responses is from MikeCF:

The solution for me, anyway, has been to help as many people as possible.

Even good friends will tell you that I’m notorious for not returning texts, emails, and calls. It’s very easy to get disconnected or disassociated from others.

So I’ve now been answering texts (you’d be surprised how many guys reach out to me), helping people, responding with more than, “That’s great.”

It’s helping.

Improving your connection with other people can help boost brain serotonin, which creates a virtuous circle. That is, the more you help others, the more serotonin you get, and thus the more *natural* it becomes to feel happy and connected to your world.

Give it a try. Every day for a month, do something to help others. It could be something like making a small donation to charity, helping an old lady with her groceries, or paying a stranger a sincere compliment.

It may be hard for you at first. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. After a while, being connected will become natural and your feelings of happiness will increase.

Sounds like an excellent component to life-hacking, which I believe is the greater manosphere aim.

It’s been my general impression that the manosphere has a dark side that deliberately aims for the disease of low affect.

Here we have people finally opening up and talking about low affect as a problem to be dealt with.

For the most part though, what we see is the opposite. Feelings are to be deliberately muted.

So this is why I again and again remind people that it is efficatious to game girls with HIGH affect. Not only that, but it is the wise life choice.

Being an anhedonic drone is poor life hacking. Who wants that plus player burnout?

Deliberately seeking out bonding, affection, warm feelings – that is life hacking, and it is strong LTR game that ensnares women at the deepest level.

Low affect is for chumps. Yes, I said it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it.

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14 Responses to “Low affect=low quality life”

  1. StarvinMarvin said

    Recomend him to do meditation and qigong. And possibly check out the authentic man program. All of that will help him learn to feel more. I don`t have a user at the forum so I can`t tell him that myself.

  2. […] xsplat.wordpress.com […]

  3. earl said

    I agree…the whole idea that having any emotions makes you weak is wrong.

    Emotionally reacting is weak…having empathy is very masculine.

  4. A Man For All Seasons said

    Several of the comments mentioned low serotonin or dopamine levels, and this is what I thought too. There are already too many comments on that thread, so I figured I’d comment here. I had a period in my early 20’s where I was conscious of almost never feeling emotions. Several in the other thread suggested tripping on shrooms. Ironically, this is what broke my out of this phase. I was laying around one time a day or so after tripping, feeling a little down, and I suddenly realized with shock I was having an emotion. Unfortunately, I was pretty depressed for the next three years. I don’t recommend this as a solution to depression, but in the right situation, tripping is really great.

    That’s been 25 years ago, and I’ve had normal emotions since then. In the past 9 months I’ve had a very difficult time motivating myself to do anything productive. I came to recognize this as a sign of depression, but I didn’t feel down, I just had severe procrastination from doing anything productive.

    I finally learned this is an issue of low dopamine. The shrinks would be glad to give me some Prozac or Wellbutrin, but that stuff is terrible. I focused on diet and exercise, and natural dopamine stimulants, like the amino acid Theanine. I also worked to raise my testosterone and lower my estrogen levels, and I have been able to become productive again.

    I think that managing brain chemicals and hormonal levels by natural means is one of the greatest secrets to wellbeing. Nowadays the manosphere is recognizing the importance of testosterone, but there is a whole package of chemicals to manage, and they affect every aspect of life more than we imagine.

    • J.M. said

      A Man for All Seasons: Thank you for your insightful comment. Xsplat is very good on picking up girls (from what I can grasp) however he is terrible when it comes to recognizing the fact that emotions are to be channelled, we are not women and if we start to be all fluffy and emotional, no matter how alpha we are, we would be effectively losing ground with our women.

      Your comment is very useful, actually I am doing something similar to what you describe in order to increase my productivity and success (exercise, managing hormones like dopamine naturally etc.)

      Thank you very much

      • xsplat said

        You speak like a young man uneducated in the ways of the world and the ways of himself.

      • J.M. said

        I haven’t travelled as many countries as you (I haven’t been in Asia) and I am much younger than I suppose you are, but If there is something I know so far is that being in “love”is never preferable as being in control.

      • xsplat said

        Black and white, either or, huh?

        Emotions can be overwhelming. Some people find it easiest to start with getting them tamped down and under control.

        That’s not the best ending point though. You can instead be high affect with strong, directed emotions.

        Consider if you had children; would you prefer to love them, or not?

        Emotions of love are extremely useful when dealing with women. Without those it’s more difficult to get strong allegience from them. You use your love to engender love in them.

        Perhaps you can’t yet imagine how to have hand while feeling love. Try harder to imagine how first, then perhaps read over some of the archives here, and if it it still seems impossible I’d be willing to answer questions.

        The style you advocate is just the simple, easy, first initial steps of being able to drive your mind up and down a street without catastrophically crashing. Don’t confuse that with high end racing.

        Emotions are useful and crucial. Love is the best drug you’ll ever find. Yes, it’s dangerous, and takes training to be able to use properly.

        There are ways to train your mind to deal well with emotions. The Buddhists have some good technology in that regard. Mind training is very useful in general, and also applies well for dealing with women.

        Emotions don’t equal a lack of control. Not even strong emotions.

        Although it sure seems that way sometimes, doesn’t it?

      • J.M. said

        Well, thank you for your response, your answer is compelling and well thought, I will read your archives and I will comment later on. The only thing I will concede though is that lately many emotions on my part seemed faked (when it comes to women), so maybe that’s not good at all? I am not aloof, but I am not lovely or nice, so far I have strived to strike a balance.

      • t said

        can you talk more about mind training?

  5. […] A Man For All Season… on Low affect=low quality li… […]

  6. avd said

    “with HIGH affect”

    X, I must be honest: your use of this phrase has possibly quasi-eluded me over the years. This is my attempt to interpret, and confirm whether we’re on the same page.

    For me, living with high affect, means: appreciating watching an ant hill go about its business, experiencing the sun shattering the late day atmosphere into a thousand different shades of reality, a human female quivering wet beneath orgasm. To me, “low affect,” is to live one’s life in a way that seeks to please one’s surroundings, at the expense of one’s interior. To live in “high affect,” to me, is to imbibe of life’s nectar and to (in the case of female relations) allow females access to one’s appreciation of the majesty of life.

    Put differently, rather than live one’s life in a way that is constructed to gain female approval, live “with high affect,” or, live for life its very self. Humbly, in my own experience, nothing is more aphrodisiacal for the females than living for the majesty of existence (they don’t get that cerebrally, but they FEEL it, which is what matters). It’s as though we are the electrical outlet for life itself, and only through us are they able to truly experience it. It’s as though females are a mirror for us to check whether we are appreciating the aspects of life that are truly important, and that is a valuable function.

    I get all the different approaches to “getting” females (and “getting at” them; pathetic). However, in my humble experience, NOTHING comes even slightly possibly even-within-reach of simply sucking the fucking juice from life, and then letting it dribble onto her tongue. That is my interpretation of living with “high affect.” Nothing, in my experience, spreads legs faster… to be followed by meaningful human relations.

    X, are you and I even in the same book, or am I reaching?

    Whether or not we agree on the above, I’m pretty sure we agree on the following: “Low affect is for chumps.” Baffling to me is the blanket proselytizing of low affect as a viable strategy… it’s as if those purveyors WANT their acolytes to fail. Sad.

    OK, fine, for the noobs: Learn to LOVE females, faults and all. They are aware of their faults, and don’t need you to point them out. Deal with your own shit, and realize that they are also dealing with their own shit. Just love them and reap the rewards of their love; it’s easy. You don’t need PUA BS for this. It’s called biology, and it’s been happening for thousands of years, long before know-it-alls arrived on the scene.

    Best wishes for all,
    avd

    • xsplat said

      I like your comment, and your description of high affect is very appealing. Sounds like using emotions and the world for ones benefit, and we’re on the same page about that for sure.

  7. […] A Dark triad man is not a complete man. Yes, if you are blind you’ll have enhanced hearing. Is that any reason to blind yourself? Yes, if you lean towards sociopathy you’ll free up some restrictions to effective manipulation. Is that any reason to become anhedonic? […]

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