Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

When girls are self destructive

Posted by xsplat on June 4, 2013

self-destructive-woman-310x168You can’t properly love someone else if you don’t love yourself. So how can a girl add value to your life if she is volatile and occasionally self destructive?

Nutso chicks are fantastic, in a bipolar way. They’re giving, attentive, recklessly adventurous, sexually and emotionally playful, and pliable.

But they have no self. They are volatile because at their center is a vacuum. You can not give love from a vacuum.

Some girls are damaged beyond repair. You can’t fill a broken cup. They won’t feel loved for long, and will look for ways to ease their discomfort. One way they are famous for seeking comfort in the midst of their despair is to have relative hand – to make you uncomfortable so that at least they have power over you.

When you notice your mind spinning around in discomfort over the actions of someone close to you, you have a few options:

1) Examine the balance. Is it worth it?
2) See how you can move the balance more in your favor.
3) One way to move the balance is to disengage emotionally, or better yet learn how to disengage on demand, and engage on demand. For this it helps to have more girls you are fucking. But we are not robots and can not program complete sociopathology into ourselves, and so when we get close we can’t help but care and think about our charges. And so:
4) Disengage. When she is causing drama, set up external boundaries. Keep her on a separate phone, look at that phone less often, and then take time to reply to her texts. Meet her less, spend time looking for other girls instead of meeting her.
5) Put her into a new category. If she wants to be treated bad, then treat her bad and fuck other girls right in front of her. Make the evil inside her a kink – a way to be close. Make her your bitch. If she is going to cause dis-harmony, she has to be worth it. Force her to be worth it. What could she possibly give to you to be worth all the hassle? How about threesomes? She wants to be a nasty bitch, then teach her how to be a useful nasty bitch.

Update: I take back my conclusion. Just cut your losses and run. Bad risk/reward.

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8 Responses to “When girls are self destructive”

  1. […] xsplat.wordpress.com […]

  2. my last gf was a nutjob. the sex was amazing of course, but i knew she was too unstable to reliable long term. i dropped her after 3 months.

    good post.

  3. Booger said

    What percentage of women are BPD?

    This is scary shit. Not only are there no more unicorns (virgins), and not only are majority of women shit-testing experts, now you have bipolar people to filter out.

  4. Franco said

    Cut them loose. Sooner the better. I’m yet to find an advantage that outweighs a woman hell bent on destroying your life. She’s already crazy – everybody knows it – what has she got to left lose?

  5. Sammo Bong said

    “If she wants to be treated bad, then treat her bad . . . She wants to be a nasty bitch, then teach her how to be a useful nasty bitch.”

    Yeah, nah. This doesn’t end well. Trust me, I’ve been with two BPDs; one diagnosed and the other (more aggressive) as an ex/friend/thing for 10 years.

    Treating her this way will work for a very short time, before she starts using your behavior (which she wanted and summoned) as a means to turn people against you, be it your relatives, her relatives, your friends, her friends, and the law. She will lie or use your pretended Bad Boy behavior as proof you’ve been abusing the little innocent angel that she’s convinced others she is.

    You will have orbiters trying to kill you in certain circumstances. One case I know of was a BPD lying that her BF was hitting and tried to rape her (when SHE is the sex-obsessed cheater who likes rough sex). And she started a relationship with a police officer who harrassed the innocent guy for YEARS. Nothing he could do.

    Ever hear about men who kill other men over women. Those skanks are likely BPD sociopaths playing sex and mind games in order to burn everyone around them up. They’re like Simon Phoenix in Demolition man – cackling in the flames.

    Stay away. Don’t think treating them bad or good will yield different results. They are disturbed people in high functioning cases,especially.

    • xsplat said

      Good comment. Obviously it has the seal of approval of carefully noticed experience, and I’m pulling out my ink pad now and have stamped on my computer screen my own personal approval seal.

      This post was based on a fling I was having, and it did end quite badly.

      As I tend to LTR or MLTR up the girls I see, and as I’m working hard to increase my value, I’ve decided to be very picky. I know this could be taken as an excuse not to approach, and maybe there is some of that, but today at least I forced myself out to the mall. I was noticing what I want. And I want a lot. Hips and tits and a nose, for starters. Difficult to find in Indonesia. And class and conversation. Maybe I’m looking for a baby momma. Or at least a girl who is worthy. Sometimes I’ll see such a rarity and she’ll be with a dweeb who I assume can’t own her, and then I feel I still have to let her stroll by. Long ramble short, I’m trying to find that sweet spot between not waiting forever for value to increase, getting what is at hand, and holding out for the best for LTR and possibly mothering value.

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