Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Do only little bitches vent?

Posted by xsplat on February 2, 2013

hayesbrandon23 posted a heartfelt moan about the state of the dating market on the rooshvforum

Athlone answered his gripe incicively:

hayesbrandon23 Wrote: This is just a open question to all of you who are here. The reality is this. I realize that there are people here from all over the world who have different life perspectives than mine. But i just have to confess how i feel about what i see infront of me consistently.

Athlone: Ok.

Quote:I see a pattern with very exotic pretty women about how they choose men.pretty-women-megan-fox-hd-woman-fondos-209176_zpse94b654f

Sure there are exceptions to this. But i see so much reinforcement for this that i have to express my frustration about it. because it’s fucked up when you’re raised as a nice guy, who is middle class decent looking and takes very good care of his body (has muscles even) , has interesting hobbies and is doing something positive with his life.

you would think that pretty exotic women would be attracted to a man who has all these qualities and reward that man. But no they don’t. This is true even in other cultures around the world (not all) but it’s true.

Right. Let’s break these qualities down in order to explain this, shall we?

because it’s fucked up when you’re raised as a nice guy,

“Nice guys” are everywhere. Being a “nice guy” does not turn women on, nor should it guarantee you a decent shot at getting a hot girl into bed.

who is middle class

Translation: average

decent looking

You and 30 million other dudes.

and takes very good care of his body (has muscles even)

You have muscles?

Good. So do tens of millions of other young men. Get in line.

has interesting hobbies

Define “interesting”.

and is doing something positive with his life.

Just like tens of millions of other American guys trying to make their way forward in life.

Very often average looking nice guys, with nice muscular bodies, good careers, and positive traits tend attract the busters and average looking nice women.lissie-yok-500-1304346841

…because they are average.

You’re starting a discussion about the dating habits of “very exotic, pretty women”, essentially the physically elite girls who have an almost neverending list of options.

You’re then wondering why these hot girls who can have whoever they want aren’t willing to settle for average guys?

ross-really

why? because if you’re a nice guy those leftover women are attracted to your personality and feel that you won’t reject them since they’re struggling. they’ll say “oh he’s a nice guy”

But it’s actually an insult because good guys have sexual fantisies too.

So other types of men get rewarded we don’t?

Now you’re a victim because you’re average?

So what are the hot chicks doing? they’re chasing after

….rich old men …which makes them gold-diggers

or…they’re chasing bad boys who are thugs…which makes her a drama queen type who’s attracted to drama.

or…they’re chasing after the androgynous male model types….which makes her an egotist who wants some one as pretty as she in the face.

…and now you’re going to play the “shame game” whereby you try to shame everyone for not making the choice you want them to make for the reasons you want them to.

“Not attracted to me? Gold-digger! Egotist! Drama Queen!”

You sound like a bitch. Literally.

Please work on that.

and i want to believe that pretty attractive women don’t fall into these three categories. i want to believe that there is a population of hot chicks out there with good character, who are honest, forthright, caring and want positive things and decent looking man *(the heystack needles). But i see too much of what i highlight above.

…because the hot girls who don’t want much to do with your average ass lack good character, are dishonest, not forthright, and uncaring.

More shaming language, more bitchmade behavior.

When attractive, heterosexual women look for a mate, they look for an actual masculine male, not a man who bitches and rationalizes like a woman.
This could be part of your problem.

But what do middlce class guys like this do? keep gaming hard? we deserve to have our sexual fantasies come true. right?? what is it so damn hard for us? it’s ass-backwards the way it is.

You aren’t entitled to anything. Quit being average if you want to see above-average results.

Rah posted this handy chart:kubler-ross-grief-cycle

And I also replied to the OP:

I can sympathize with your frustration, and even understand your need to vent and commiserate. And I guess that you are confused about why other guys don’t want to join your pity party and commiserate with you.

You are too close to see it, because it’s inside you and not in front of you, but your attitude is counter productive. And as Athlone helpfully pointed out, this toxic attitude itself could be a part of what is cock-blocking you.

An adult masculine attitude does not have the narrative “I was born paraplegic, and I look around me on a Sunday afternoon and all the guys are playing ball, poor me”. It has a go getter attitude, that is inspired by difficult challenges. It might ask “how can I twist this adversity to my advantage?” Not everyone is a Steven Hawking, who without his illness would likely never have been forced into greatness, however necessity is the mother of invention.

And Athlone really hit the nail on the head regarding your strategy to shame girls into fucking you. THEY are doing it wrong! If only THEY were doing it right, I’d have my sexual fantasies fulfilled?

You call it venting, but it really is bitching. Bitching about reality. That’s not a mature masculine narrative. Use reality to your advantage.

I mean, you are here at all. That’s positive. You don’t have health issues. You have some talents and skills. You are able to notice the patterns around you. Consider life an entrepreneurial business, and all obstacles are challenges that you can work around or overcome. Do you hear entrepreneurs complain that the market is biased against them? No, you don’t. Entrepreneurs never complain about anything. They have a can do attitude, and they find a way to get things done. New things.

Venting is a crutch that is souring your personality and keeping you from taking responsibility for being a good captain of your own life. It’s counter productive and you can’t be a good entrepreneur and notice opportunities if you keep holding on to these idealistic childish fantasies of how the world is supposed to work.

update: haysbrandon23 replies:

…i understand that we are men here not a womans group therapy session. but this “dstop bitching and whining you weak ass man, take action and get the pussy” vibe i’m getting is not very encouraging at all fellas…

well…i see what this game forum is about. I’m sorry to have invaded your space fellas. i’ll will happily leave and let you get back to what you were doing before i trolled…

Hays, have you heard of the serenity prayer?

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. “

I’m not hearing from you that you want to live in line with that prayer. Are you trying to find acceptance? Are you trying to change the world? Are you trying to know the difference?

I hear you complaining about the weather. Complaining about something that is not within your control – how females in general behave.

I doubt it’s only me and the few others here who find that attitude itself to be distasteful, and who suspect that this attitude itself might be a turn off to women.

Yes, your observations are correct. So is bad weather. Either accept it or do something to profit from it. People in poor climes deal with it. Entrepreneurs in bad economic climates deal with it.

Are you even trying to get to the acceptance stage? You seem stuck.

And I know that the advice you’ve heard here comes across as hostile and unsympathetic. This is a rough and tumble crowd who don’t tip toe around much. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care. Most of us have shared your observations and experiences and frustrations. When women talk amongst themselves they don’t seek solutions. They just want to vent. Solutions are actually unwanted to their process, because they interrupt their venting. They’ll actually get frustrated by solutions, and this is well known to drive the men in the company to distraction – men want to provide solutions. We are generally not so sympathetic to the process of venting – for the sake of venting. It serves no real purpose.

You’ve identified the problem. Do you want to get stuck at that stage of having identified the problem? Is that what you want to do? Is that entertaining, or fun? Or cathartic? Do you feel any less alone now?

Update: Just saw this related post from therawness from three years ago where he says:

Now you can always tell a winner mentality from a loser mentality by how they react to viewing situational winners. Losers see winners in a situation and try to visualize either how it should be the losers winning instead or try to think about how the winner doesn’t really deserve to be winning and got his gains unfairly. A man with a winner mentality sees someone winning in a situation and thinks, “Why is he a winner right now, and what can I learn from this?” That was my attitude when seeing this guy. I couldn’t hate, I had to congratulate. A lot of square guys, especially from developed Western nations, would have seen this dude and say “What does he have? Why is that chick with his third-world criminal thug ass and not a classy civilized nice guy like me? The world is unfair. After all, doesn’t she realize I’m smart, have a high IQ, am from the West, have American dollars, would treat her like a queen the way she deserves instead of ignoring her like this alpha thug does? She must be brainwashed or low IQ trash to be content with a third-world badboy asshole like him instead of jumping through hoops for a good guy going places like me.”

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7 Responses to “Do only little bitches vent?”

  1. Hypergamy is hypergamy. Stop fucking bitching and do something about it.

  2. Hero said

    Stop. Being. Nice.

  3. Vicomte said

    This is the kind of guy that thinks he’s doing everything right, but you could take one look at him and see how he’s doing everything wrong.

    Impenetrable to him, obvious to us.

    Personally, I have no idea what to do with these people.

    Any thoughts?

  4. David AlexOrher said

    xsplat, off topic.

    When you were meditating in the monastery you said your testosterone plummeted.

    I am currently attempting a streak of celibacy for 5 years to focus on martial arts and other endeavors.

    Did your dick shrink as well? I’ve heard stories of them retracting but am not sold on this phenomenom. I do not want this as a consequence.

  5. xsplat said

    Nope, dick stayed the same, even without regular tugs.

    And once I got out in the world and started fucking regularly the sex drive quickly went into overdrive again.

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