Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Just how different is dating in SEA?

Posted by xsplat on December 14, 2012

Free Thai Girl

White guys get a free coupon at the airport for a girl like this


Anon-A-Moose Wrote: Xsplat probably hasn’t dealt with the “new” generation of women in their 20s in urban areas like DC. These women are devoid of the concept of honor, of loyalty, of family, or of the meaning of love. All they know is iphones, “feelings” which is actually hamsterism, and vain status-whoring. They’re “women” only in the physical sense, otherwise they’re basically consumerist herd-animals. Tragic, but we have to adapt or die.

I think that might compare to the player girls out East. There are girls who date for fun and profit, and are hard core about it. SEA is pretty famous for it, actually. For some men that’s their first eye opener to the nature of women.

There are so many misconceptions about what it is that actually goes on out here. Not only do you get your girls with traditional values of looking for a virtuous marriage, but you also find professional girlfriends with a few hundred numbers on their phones and complete familiarity with internet access to suitors.

You can play a player. A man can turn the tables on a parallel-dating girl, and get her to fall. That’s a fun reward, when the girl who thought she was playing you eventually looks up to you in wonderment and says “Daddy, why I love you Daddy? You no rich, you no handsome. Why I love you?”

” All they know is iphones, “feelings” which is actually hamsterism, and vain status-whoring. They’re “women” only in the physical sense, otherwise they’re basically consumerist herd-animals. “

Come to SEA and check things out. But before you do, count the percent of women who are habitually toying with their Blackberries before you go. Then on arrival make a new survey and compare the numbers. And if spending 3 months salary to get a phone as good as your friends is a sign of consumerism, then all signs point to SEA being a world leader for herd animal consumerism.

And if you want to talk about cock hopping, the SEA girls are more than willing to compete for another world record. Ever fuck a girl while she’s chatting on the phone with her fiance?

The world is a small place. It’s not nearly as different as people think.

Some people have a black and white view of what changes out here, and so lose track of what stays the same. If going to SEA boosts your value, how much of a value boost do you get? Infinite? Would you be able to expect to thereby break into the social circles of the rich and famous through your white skin? It doesn’t work that way, and can work against you. While some Thai high-sos would consider a Westerner for novelty sex, not many would invite him home to meet the mom and pop. In Thailand it’s only the low status girls who gain status by dating a Westerner.

You get stilts. Standing on stilts you can reach more apples. But the stilts don’t allow you to reach the top of the tree – they are only 5 foot stilts. If you are young and of average or better looks to begin with, you’ll reach a hell of a lot of apples. But if you are old and noticeably below average in physical attraction, it’s not the free for all that the handsome guys experience. It’s a completely different world.

Attractive guys imagine that everyone is awarded 10 leveling points at the airport that enables them to slay all women. Hand those 10 leveling points to an ugly broke 75 year old and who is he going to slay at the Bali nightclub full of Australian surfer dudes? You get a relative boost, not an absolute one. And no matter how handome you are, the effect is limited – it’s not a full access pussy pass to women of all hotness and social statures. There are going to be women you have to work for, and there are going to be women you can’t get.

Even in SEA your actions affect your outcome. Why anyone would think otherwise is a mystery to me, but I tend to think it has to do with having some sort of agenda. There is no place on the planet where you can’t learn to hone your actions to better deal with the cross-cultural hind-brain oriented beast that is woman. And 90% of what is woman is cross cultural.

And it’s both true that women move on quickly and are shallow in emotional affect, and that they fall deeply and can pine for a man for ages. That’s true in any county. The alpha widow experience is rare in all countries, but is another cross-cultural constant. You don’t automatically provoke that by having white skin in a poorer country, anymore than a rich banker-in-a-beemer is going to automatically provoke that in a trailer trash girl. That kind of deep conversion requires a honed ability to get deeply under a girls skin – and that is something that talented men can learn. That happens through his actions.

I know I’m going to get hate for this, but I’m just going to be blunt. Again. If you aren’t getting deeply under the skin of the woman, the major factor of that is you and your actions. If you haven’t done that yet, then going to SEA isn’t going to have you automatically doing it here. As attested to by the many guys here who don’t perform deep conversions with the SEA talent. Even the young and handsome trust fundie guys don’t get free access to deep conversion. Here or anywhere. The process is subtle, and requires innate talent, learning, or both. And it’s something you can get better at, no matter where you live. Because the process involves dealing with women at a very instinctual level – a level that is pre-cultural.

The world is a small place. The more of it you see, the smaller it gets.

It’s not just in SEA where a man can invoke romance out of a girl. Nor is it just in the West. If a guy has never performed a deep conversion, his life experiences will lead him to believe that such a thing is fiction and that girls aren’t romantic in any deep way. I’m not going to be able to go against a man’s life experiences enough to convince him of a whole new way of relating with women. But maybe your peers can. There are many men in our manosphere community who routinely perform deep conversions. In your own time and places. If you can’t fit the data that they provide into your world view, then examine your world view.

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26 Responses to “Just how different is dating in SEA?”

  1. [...] Just how different is dating in SEA? « Random Xpat Rantings [...]

  2. How do you have these deep conversions? I keep hearing about them, but I don’t really see any literature from the manosphere on it, except snippets from you. I probably have missed those posts if you have talked about it at length.

    • t said

      Not just him. There are others who mention this as well. But you are right, there is no method given outright. It seems like something that is just difficult to break down in a step-by-step method as it seems to involve a change in your own attitude and mindset toward the relationship. Like you, I too want to know more about them and am learning as much as I can, but it would be nicer to have concrete steps you can take, first with yourself, then with a woman from the beginning of a relationship, then continuing the maintenance during the relationship.

      • xsplat said

        “It seems like something that is just difficult to break down in a step-by-step method as it seems to involve a change in your own attitude and mindset toward the relationship.”

        Yes.

        I will continue to try, but the answers are hard to find, and might be wrong. Introspection doesn’t always work, and the reasons we create for what happens aren’t always accurate.

        A few thoughts have occurred to me and I’ll be mulling over the issue until something is ready to write down. But it’s going to be an ongoing project – and one that might only describe a style for certain types of people and not be universally applicable.

    • xsplat said

      I’m going to put down a few placeholder thoughts here. Pre-rough draft. Usually I wait until my subconscious has solved the riddle before I type.

      If you were breastfed as a baby, you had moments of immersion with your environment, and were seeped in love, bonding, and oxytocin. Sucking on that nipple was subjectively felt as merging, and that merging was associated with pleasure. There was not separation between subject and object. You got a high off of that, and so did the mother. The two of you were as one.

      As an adult you can touch into that same feeling. In fact, if you want, you can carry that feeling around with you in your heart throughout the day. Oxytocin can be a way of life.

      Or at least that type of high can be something to touch into.

      When having sex, it’s powerful to include oxytocin as well as all the other usual hormones. In chi-kung terms you allow the energies to rise up the spine at least as high as the heart chakra, and preferably also past that up to the top of your head, and then also allow the downward energies to flow, and then have a whole body energetic feeling that flows into the girl in a union of ecstatic energies, with power and control, such that you can again rest the mind in the belly to hold a strong libidinous energy that merges with the girl, and then at times let the energies flow up and down.

      In conventional terms, feeling some romance during sex is a good and powerful habit, that will bond the girl to you. Romance doesn’t have to take the form of handing out flowers and saying I love you. It can be in the form of dominance and submission role playing games, public sex, or anything where the two of you experience heightened emotions and a sense of trust and playfulness. Bonding.

      The reward hormone oxytocin works well alongside other reward hormones such as dopamine. So deep conversion is all about a balance between excitement and comfort. You want to give deep levels of both. Sometimes in alternation, sometimes at the same time. Sex is a great time to give both at the same time, and role play is a great way to do that.

      When some people realize that love is an illusion that leads to pain, they quite naturally decide against it.

      But that’s not the only choice.

      The other option is to realize that it’s an illusion, but feel it anyway. Have love be a lifestyle choice. How you work that out will require your own solutions. I’m a firm believer that solutions are findable, and that this is the lifestyle choice that leads to maximizing hedonism.

      ***
      I wrote this as an answer recently when someone asked me how to perform deep conversion.

      It’s not a subject that has lent itself to glib answers. A lot of it has to do with being considered by the woman as a high value man, a lot has to do with manipulating the womans emotions, a lot has to do with the sexual connection, much has to do with maintaining a dominant frame, there is a need to keep her in aquisitive mode always earning your attention, and on and on.

    • xsplat said

      I’ll keep jotting down placeholder thoughts.

      I’ll have to research more on oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, testosterone, and their various effects. The endocrine system has a big effect on what vibes you are putting out, and what vibes you will entrain out of the woman.

      If you feel warm and full and happy, while at the same time feeling a blissful thrill, perhaps going up your spine, and if you can look at a womans face with lust and loving appreciation, then you are on the way to deep conversion.

      Deep conversion starts with who you are. You have something good inside you to give. Your heart feels good – precious even. The precious gift of boddicitta flows not only through you, but is inherent to your world and all that you see. You naturally love, because that is your function – what you do. You naturally feel good. Every interaction is one of playful lusty fun and appreciation.

      That sucks a girl into your world. She’s not going to ever want to leave that. She can’t get that just anywhere. She may not be able to get it anywhere. Ever again.

      She’ll thrill to your glance, and give up her whole world to you. She’ll become your family – she’ll find a place in your world – a dutiful place. She’ll become your soldier and attendant and lover.

      It’s not just a matter of incanting the magical words. It’s being something. Something the girl is enchanted by. And to do that you need to learn to feel enchanted and enchanting, inside you. Do some internal alchemy, in order to perform external vodoo on the girl. You need to be able to walk around feeling a vital power, a mojo, and a wealth of affection and ease. The world makes you happy, and your girl makes you happier still.

      Being with her is a celebration.

      She’ll vibe with that and get addicted, and internalize your emotions as her own, and then never want to leave.

      It can happen very fast. Love at first sight fast. Girls can move in on the first date, and tell you over and over that they want to be with you until they die and then into the eternal afterlife. They’ll offer to tatoo “Daddy’s little bitch” on their asses.

      I talk a lot on this blog about opening up to passionate energies of fierceness and the need to be strict with boundaries, but I’ve neglected talking about being a bliss baby. That was a nick-name an older woman gave to me when I was in my late twenties; “bliss-baby”.

      You need to embody bliss. It’s wildly seductive.

      I’ve mentioned before that what we think of as our weaknesses can become our greatest strengths. I used to have some weaknesses of being a bit manic depressive, OCD, overly introspective to the point of neuroticism and social anxiety, and on and on. Each of those matured to more positive attributes. I learned to transform manic depression into a free flow of energy where I don’t get stuck in emotional ruts, but neither am I afraid to feel good or feel anger. The OCD turned into acceptance of unstoppable passion and embracing it and using it seductively and to further the lifestyle I enjoy. The social anxiety wore down over time, but is still there a bit, but I’ve worked around it by structuring my life to be mostly one on one interactions, in which I don’t feel that anxiety. Overall the troubling emotions turned into workable tools. Without them there would be much less joy or hooks into other people.

      I used to sit for hour after hour, week after month on a meditation cushion, just watching my thoughts. You tend to make friends with them a bit, and the struggle drops away somewhat. And you learn to just appreciate their raw energies.

      From that you can move also into body centered meditations, where you feel the thrills of various feelings in your body. These become integrated with your emotions, such that you physcially feel very fine emotions in various parts of your body and around you. So you get very sensitive to your internal state. And these feelings integrate with your endocryine system, such that it isn’t just the case that you react to the world with hormonal responses, but your internal regulation also causes hormonal responses. You can smile inside your heart and let that warmth come out of your eyes.

    • xsplat said

      So the above comment was about affect, but that’s not enough for deep conversion.

      You also need to be considered by her to be high (enough) status. Or have the potential to be. You can get away without that, but that would be a deficit. Being high value to her will open her to open. High value includes your finances. Can she physically afford to give her life to you? Would her and her imagined children lack for necessities? In her mind a deep love can’t be handed over casually. It’s not a one night stand type of passion we are talking about. She is deciding to give you her all. All.

      Then there is dominance and control – the theme I talk most about. Giving the girl commands and employing her to your service.

      Then there is boundary control. Possibly a subset of dominance, but deserving it’s own category. This is sometimes maintained by bouts of drama and anger and intense energies, sometimes by invoking abandonment, sometimes by brinksmanship, sometimes by humor, quiet words, or just ignoring the girl.

    • xsplat said

      Here is an interesting aside. When I mention that whore-mongers don’t seem to notice that paying for sex is usually lessening the intimacy, and therefore pleasure in their lives, I get extreme hate. People wind up claiming that since I’m in SEA, therefore all my loved ones are all prostitutes, and that I’ve not experienced genuine affection or intimacy. One guy called me a hack – as if my poor writing skills were relevent to the truth of their inability to value intimacy. It seems to me that pointing out that there is the possibility of romance is the same as telling some guys “You don’t love yourself, you don’t love others, and no one loves you. You are living your life wrong. You fail at life” And so when I mention my view on whore-mongering I get the most extreme hate, and any possible attempt at completely invalidating me. Not just my arguments, me. I’m lying, I’m exaggerating, I’m a duped chump, blah blah blah. Basically the whore-mongers try to bring me down to their level – denying that romance is something that women feel. Because if romance was a thing that happens to people who know how to get it, then it would be true that they were missing out on something that others find deeply valuable.

    • xsplat said

      When men talk about how to deal with surprise babies, usual advice is to amp up your natural feelings of warmth and care for your offspring. The natural emotional response to remind yourself of the manly values of duty and responsibility.

      These are archetypal, ancestral, instinctual emotions that you can tap into. Because of that your brain is wired to receive rewards for them. Rewards that feel meaningful.

      I also find meaning in my life by tapping into reward centers associated with oxytocin. Maybe oxytocin and a sense of meaning are connected – I’d guess so. I find meaning by valuing my loved ones – even when I know that love is temporary and is a kind of pleasant illusion.

      And because what we find meaningful becomes our ego invested world view, people are bound to get deeply irritated and uncomfortable when what they invest meaning in is questioned. I don’t like people calling my loved ones whores, for instance – I find that type of thing very distasteful, and even a bit sociopathic – not quite human.

      But there is another workable emotional response to oops babies, that I’m sure others will also consider inhumane. There is the emotional option to just blow the whole thing off. A guy can make peace with it, and move on, and rarely think about it again.

      And that’s what a lot of guys choose to do regarding dealing with women. Blow off the circuits that develop bonding, love, and a sense of warm purpose.

      • I like what you are writing – it doesn’t make complete sense yet – but the reason why I am so interested, is that I think I inadvertantly deep conversed a girl (or got really close to it) and the effect it had over me and her was intoxicating.

      • I have an exam soon – but I’ll try to explain more afterwards.

      • t said

        This is helpful, as is obvious by all the comments its receiving. But it is more helpful for people who have some experience with some of the things you mention. For the ones that are asking about deep conversion, what they really need are concrete examples.

        Examples of inducing oxytocin in various situations. Manipulating a girl’s emotions, this is written about a lot, but for the ones that are asking, they don’t know how to even deal with such emotions, let alone manipulate them. So again, examples would be helpful. From everyday situations, where one can create the drama that is needed, or create emotions and play with them, like you often mention like playing with an instrument.

        “keeping her in an quisitive mode always earning your attention, and on and on”… this was a ramble and dumping of thoughts, but more in-depth understanding of this is what men need. Specific scenarios, even hypothetical ones, they don’t have to be actual things that happened to you, but any details on what words and actions are exchanged can help with a better understanding of these matters.

        It is important to develop your mindset and become a high value man first. But sometimes it is a question of the chicken or the egg. If a man is already getting submission from a woman, it helps internalize his attitude and develops his dominant frame. Which in turn demands submission…

        Same with the examples and techniques, if a man can find success in manipulating emotion, that will in turn help him develop his mindset and frame. Just like if a woman gets rough sex, it will bring out her submissive side.

  3. t said

    I think there is one thing about being an expat that is not often mentioned with regards to relationships.

    You often are not part of a social circle. If you are in your home country, you have various social events, casual and formal, where you go as a couple and interact with others. There is usually a social hierarchy amongst friend circles, and this can often affect attraction.

    Don’t know if it’s an advantage or disadvantage for an expat. On the one hand, he doesn’t have to worry about being alpha among peers, and being funny, and winning random debates on random issues. But not having a social circle has its own problems, or maybe it helps create your own world.

    • xsplat said

      Being an outsider is a huge advantage in a few ways.

      For one, primate females are wired to seek coupling outside of their troupe. Meaning women are hard wired to want to fuck foreigners.

      For another, it gives the girl the ultimate anti-slut defense. If you are outside of her social circle, you don’t count. The rules don’t apply. It doesn’t matter as much what her social circle says about you; you bring in your own frame, and it is outside of her culture. She gets to break all the local rules, by dating a guy who is outside of them. The rules don’t count for you, and so with you she gets an instant pass to feeling free from her social constraints.

      Some guys manage to run social circle game as an expat, but I’ve had problems breaking into local social circles as I don’t speak the language, and I’ve neglected trying to build up social circles among expats lately. That’s one reason to go to china – to pursue more of a social lifestyle, especially among my western male peers.

      I tend to be comfortable spending a lot of time with a girl. Maybe over-comfortable. It borders on isolation. But isolation also has advantages; there is less of a herd mentality to disturb the girls expectations.

  4. Wudang said

    Superb posts! Do you have any opinions on jing levels and attraction. So many guys seem to notice that when they abstain to build up jing attraction from women increases a lot. This has also been my experience. Also, there seem to be specific points of buildup that lead to higher and higher levels of attraction. So something happens after say 5 days, something after four weeks etc. And there also seems to be something specifically happening when the dan tien is full and when jong gets converted to chi from what guys ahve been describing to me.

    ” When I mention that whore-mongers don’t seem to notice that paying for sex is usually lessening the intimacy, and therefore pleasure in their lives, I get extreme hate”

    Of course it reduces intimacy. I have a hard time understanding that they don`t see this. I think your analysis of why you get that level of hate in return is sport on.

    • xsplat said

      It seems you have more detailed knowledge than I do about the subtleties of gathering energy, especially from a Daoist perspective. That’s very welcome here. I agree with you that harboring these feelings of libido in a warm, comfortable, powerful and energetic and yet grounded way are a key to raising attraction. Attraction not so much through doing, but through being.

  5. Wudang said

    “Maybe oxytocin and a sense of meaning are connected – I’d guess so”

    I think so too which is why I also think that when a man has a deeply MEANINGFULL mission he can stand sollitude and being an outcast or bearing heavy responsibility alone because he is filled up from within himself with the hormones most men seek to gain from women.

  6. Master Dogen said

    Xsplat: I have spent a great deal of my life meditating, though less than you, it sounds. I’m younger, and I’ve also not been as dedicated as it sounds like you have (no three month retreats for me). But I’ve been at it for about 17 years now, off and on, with some periods of relatively dedicated and intense practice during that time.

    Until I was about 30, I never even encountered the idea that refraining from masturbation was one of the keys to spiritual development. Or if we want to stay away from phrasing it in spiritual terms, we could say it’s one of the keys to developing a very keen and powerful command of bodily sensations that can be felt even outside the body and in the body of another person.

    There is a lot of advice beginning to stir in the “manosphere” about quitting porn and masturbation. This is excellent advice. Most of the writers strike me as materialists, and people who would consider talk about “embodying bliss” a bunch of delusional new age crap. But they are starting to get the idea that “storing and transforming your manly essence” is a POWERFUL way to develop influence in the world, mastery of the self and a corresponding magnetism when it comes to women.

    Anyway, though I was “into” body energy, meditation, and even spiritual striving for over a decade, I didn’t couple that practice with “jing preservation” until very recently. It’s remarkable how powerful it is. Girls smell it a mile away. I wonder if, for people who don’t do serious meditation or qi-gong, the first step might not be to convince them to stop masturbating for 3 weeks and to keep a journal or other record of how they feel and how others react to it.

    Psychoanalyzing people I haven’t met is distasteful to me, but for instance, the MGTOW haters from a few weeks ago… I wonder how many of them have lived even three weeks of their life without “spilling the seed”? It’s something any man can try for himself, whether or not he believes in/practices body energy practices. And if anyone here (the non-hater guys who are just curious and a little baffled) tries it at the same time as keeping his mind open to the idea that HE himself is capable of manifesting bliss and offering it outward as a gift to other people (all people, not just hot girls), he may find a remarkable transformation in himself and his worldview.

    The link between hormones and body energy is undeniable, and the link between hormones and masturbation… likewise easily measured by Western science.

    You don’t have to become a hippie or some hardcore religious monk to experience these things. 15 minutes a day of sitting still and silent and breathing, coupled with quitting masturbation, can be enough to get someone started down the path to some astonishing changes. And here’s the thing… while it requires a bit of discipline, which can be irritating and difficult at first, it’s actually quite easy, and FUN to do this.

    And finally, to check whether it’s just all in your head or merely some kind of placebo effect, observe how differently girls in every day life look at you after three weeks (I see it in baristas, little kids at the store, old ladies… they just SMILE at you and stare, like you have a glow).

    Thanks for this blog. I always get the sense that you could really take it or leave it. I hope for my sake you keep at it for a good while longer. I really get a lot out of it. Cheers.

    • xsplat said

      Thanks for the encouragement. Sharing experiences among a community of peers feels good, and so the comments are a valuable part of that process, and do keep me going.

  7. david said

    Master Dogen.

    The sixth Tibetan Rite focuses on distinguishing desire.

    If you want to improve your body, a few one-armed pushups, pistol squats, and pull-ups are excellent to get rid of horniness temporarily.

    I’m with you in this war. I’ve wasted a bit of time. But I am 22 and hope to get that wlel-rounded life.

    • Master Dogen said

      David: I’m with you on the vigorous exercise. But I’m not interested in “getting rid” of horniness, but rather transforming it. Gritting your teeth through horniness just makes you miserable and dry. You have to get an outside perspective, and feel the energy being transformed inside you, into something luminous, shining outward from you heart and your eyes. I’m no expert, but the best way I have found to do this through breath meditation. Cold showers, push-ups, etc, are good in general, and they can get you through a tight spot if you are trying a new discipline of non-masturbation. But it’s kinda like quitting smoking. If all you think is “I must not smoke, I must not smoke,” you’re doomed. Instead you have to think “Fuck yeah, this is soooo awesome to be breathing in this nice, deep, clean air. This kicks ass.”

      So, instead of “I must not masturbate, I must not masturbate,” we can instead focus on visualizing and FEELING the glow of natural desire permeating our body and moving outwards into the world, especially through the belly, the eyes, and the heart. Don’t kill desire, transform it.

      It’s funny to talk about this right now. I gave myself acute bursitis in my elbows the other day from lifting too heavy, and now I’m swollen like a water balloon in my arms and can’t work out at all. So right this very day, I am forced to focus on the mental side of things, since my physical side is in repair-mode.

      • t said

        I am one of those people who are not into meditation too much. But I understand the need to channel your energy and thoughts and how powerful it can be. But with regards to whether you should channel your desires in a physical way like exercise, or in a mental way like feeling the energy radiate, it doesn’t have to be one or the other. Why not get the best of both?

      • Master Dogen said

        T: Yes, well said.

  8. jake said

    This is good stuff. Had a friend go into the jungles of Ko Panang island this year for a week, for some kind of sexual-something-something-spiritual-journey-medication-thing. Came out talking like you guys. I thought it was weird but now I’m otherwise not preoccupied and ready to check it out.

  9. Medman said

    Dear xsplat,How would a more Mediterennean looking man (my mom’s Cajun from louisiana,father is dutch)fare in indonesia?

    I really like the indonesian Tropical weather.I’m not usually into other southeast asians except vietnamese.

    I’m also only 5’8(173 cm),and me thinks I’d feel like a giant there.

    But me thinks only the more light features caucasian brothers are liked over there?I have black hair,pale olivish skin and light brown eyes.Would I be left with a dick in my hand there,or could I realistically get attention from nubile cute indonesian girls?I’ve been told I look like Joey Lawrence.but I am short..

    I live in The netherlands,and due to looking like a turk,I have missed out on alot of oppurtunities with women.here in north europe darker caucasian guys are either avoided or just neutral.Thanks to MENA and arab-turk immigrants ruining everything .

    • xsplat said

      My guess is that you’d still get the “bule” advantange. Bule is the slang for westerner.

      Beware though as it also connotes naive and easily duped. Never let any Indonesian explain to you that “she can’t do that because our culture is different and we don’t do that here”. Every time I get that line I nearly reveal my true age by letting them know I’ve been coming to Indonesia since the time they were in diapers. Instead I just say “for many many years, and no, Indonesians do not have some unique special culture – the girls are the same as anywhere and yes they all do that.” Whatever that is. The response is always to laugh and admit it.

      SEA girls, like girls anywhere will try any advantage, and a foreigners naivite is one. Naturally they’ll try to play you until you learn the ropes.

      My impression is that people world wide have been getting taller. 5’8″ isn’t tall anymore, in most places. My main girl is from a village of lilliput people, where everyone is small – no joke, and generally people are smaller. And there are a lot of short girls. But many guys here are bigger and taller than me, and there are also plenty of girls too near my own height.

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