Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

It’s all a ritual of devotion. “Make me a sandwich”

Posted by xsplat on December 5, 2012

Men have been aggregating their common experiences and documenting them for hundreds and even thousands of years, and now in the age of the internet we do group science through anecdotes. We test our premises against experiences and compare amongst a community of peers. The cause and effect of being selfish is by now firmly established, as is the cause and effect of being meek and humble and giving and overly forgiving.

And we have scatterings of scientific studies that support our codified experiences. It is known that women are more attracted to men with higher than average testosterone. It’s also well studied that testosterone makes men more selfish.

The sad thing is that this knowledge is not well known, and even for those that know it it is not deeply internalized. Many, if not most guys with some red pill knowledge still don’t believe that they can sustain pleasurable loving and passionate relationships with women.

People take half a pill. They learn that women are not men, and then conclude that women aren’t worth the bother. Instead they could swallow the whole pill, continue their full schooling, and learn how to use women such that they are worth every bit of bother and more.

It’s just like dog or horse ownership. Guys are complaining that their mates shit and piss everywhere and are bitches and nags, but they take no responsibility for not having learned the finer arts of animal control. The basis of which is dominance.

In my house I don’t even eat a meal with my girls. They prepare a meal for me, give it to me, and I eat it. Later she’ll prepare a separate meal for herself.

Does the lead wolf or lion wait politely for others to join him at the table? No, he is first. Unless he makes a show of being first, he risks losing his position as the dominant leader. Be selfish, and be obviously selfish. Be selfish for the point of being selfish.

I make my selfishness a joke – something I do light heartedly. But when the girl asks me to hold her purse, I’ll either laugh, or take it and immediately put it on the floor. And yet when we clothes shop I’ll hand her my purchases to lug around, as long as they are light weight. When grocery shopping I’ll lug the most weight, but make sure she is carrying a decent load. And on and on. I’m the guy who apportions her her labors, and I eat first and am considered first. She is second. Being second to me is a pretty good place to be. Better than being first to herself.

Regarding the girl cooking separate meals, they seem to take this on themselves naturally. Putting my needs first. They don’t seem interested in eating what I order for my menu, and have internalized that serving me is a duty that makes them feel good – is an expression of heartfelt emotional devotion. They eagerly ask for orders for what do I want to eat, eagerly serve, and eagerly await for praise for the food. Her eating is not considered a communal affair, any more than mine is. What is communal is our appreciation for her service. It’s ritual. A ritual act of devotion. A ritual we perform with reverence, every day, that fills our humble home with love.

Sometimes she’ll express her love by asking “what do you want for breakfast?”, and sometimes I’ll express mine with a terse “Wake up. Go make me breakfast”.

The selfishness and the command have in it a sense of humor, and love. It’s not even quite in the voice, or body language, but somehow it’s contextual. When I give a command, I’m saying “do my bidding, and by doing so be a part of my world, and be cherished and appreciated by me, and express your heart well”. And that’s how the women take it. That’s what they hear, and that’s what they do.

“Make me a sandwich” is a ritual expression of devoted care for each other. And of course I do more labor overall each day than she does, and earn all the money. The division of labor falls in her favor.

And I give some small financial appreciation for her full time works, as every woman has some financial needs, even if you are paying for all her food and clothes. Her family can get sick, she’ll want to invest in some businesses for her future. She’ll want to save up for a status cell phone. Her brother will have a business to invest in. Her parents will get sick. If she is going to work full time for me, she will naturally weigh that option against her other options. What salary would she get working for some other boss? For some other suitor? You can give a woman no salary at all – that’s what I usually did until recently – but if you have the money and would never notice it missing, it is just and fair and appropriate and for your personal advantage to give her some. Some modest amount. Even if it is a terribly stingy amount, that all her family and friends complain is way below her worth. Just something useful.

And then if you leave her, remember that her best years of her life actually have a financial value to them. Keep her in food and a place to stay until she settles on the next suitor. Because what you have done is to make her a professional house wife. Which is a very good and honorable profession. And one that we should respect, and respect financially. Her job as a woman is to be a woman, and so our job as a man must be to take care of her all the way through until the next man takes up that job. Or at least until she is self supporting in some other way.

Being the me first leader also means that your 2nd is 2nd. So she must be considered well.

When I fucked my girl last night, even though I’ve been fucking her for over two years now, over 1 1/2 of that just with her, there is no sign of boredom. It’s fresh every time, and if anything the passion is just growing. Every day in some way she seems closer to me, and more worth fucking. She came and came and came until she was begging me to stop, and then promptly passed out after I withdrew. As she was coming I felt a sexual union – our energies mixed, and it was not just sexual energies, but also romantic energies. Sometimes when I’m fucking her I’ll have visions of her walking out and about with me in the mall, or visions of that time I visited her Lilliput village during a street celebration and she paraded with me in the street for all to see – her the stand out obvious village beauty, and me the white skinned Bule. The kid is in many ways useless – like for conversation, for instance, but I put her to use as a good manager should and make her useful to my organization. She has found a place here, a place and a purpose, and I always find a way to shut out everything that is negative to me and focus on how she is of service. And so my heart can well up fresh every day with love and appreciation.

When she is coming and coming on my dick, that is the core of our relationship, right there. That sets the tone and the mood for everything that follows. I’m commanding her when she is coming, and I’m commanding her throughout the day, and she is receptive to my command and even thrills to it.

It’s all a ritual.

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13 Responses to “It’s all a ritual of devotion. “Make me a sandwich””

  1. avd said

    Great post, Xsplat.

    “Her job as a woman is to be a woman, and so our job as a man must be to take care of her all the way through until the next man takes up that job. Or at least until she is self supporting in some other way.”

    I would merely add that it’s my belief that one should also leave her with greater market value than she arrived, meaning marketable skills: nutrition-based cooking, massage techniques, giving professional-level head, etc. That may have been implied in your post.

    • xsplat said

      That’s a good point. Her education in the wifely arts is important. For both me and her future. I’ve been trying to get her to take up music and dance lessons, and of course encourage her to continue learning to cook. Cooking lessons or cooking events with friends are also encouraged. She does give massage, but learning more about that would be a great idea. It’s no small art, attending to a man, and it’s a shame the feminists have worked so desperately hard to diminish it’s value. What a bunch of jealous cock blockers! To be really good at pleasing men is likely about as difficult as being really good at taming women. It takes self discipline and self transformation and an open heart and a willingness to work with the situation as it is – rather than how we wish it were. Some girls are naturals at pleasing, bless their little feminine imperative inspried hearts. And some are naturals with a twist – bless and curse their psychotic BPD hearts.

      There was a time there where I wasn’t sure if my current was just a girl with emotional lability who retained some BPD traits, or if she would always remain borderline personality disordered in her attitudes and outlook. Her training took longer and was more difficult than for others. Even her sexual training took way longer than for other girls. And it’s still ongoing. But it’s like night and day. She is nothing like she used to be. Training can transform a woman.

      Men have been taught that the very idea is “sexist” and have no peers to teach them how to even begin this training. It’s a shame, because you don’t just purchase women ready mixed off the shelf. We have to train them up from scratch.

      And even previously trained girls will fall back into bad habits with the next new guy – I’ve seen it with an ex of mine – if the new guy has no clue about maintaining hand and household order.

      I’d like to hope that some sort of movement could grow. You don’t even see a lot of this type of talk even in this small corner of the internet that we call the manosphere. We really could use it on a larger scale.

      • avd said

        “I’d like to hope that some sort of movement could grow. You don’t even see a lot of this type of talk even in this small corner of the internet that we call the manosphere. We really could use it on a larger scale.”

        Agreed. I’ve searched high and low for higher-level conversation focused on the deeper energetics involved between men and women AND their practical applicability, but thus far haven’t found it (other than one of my old wings.)

        I think the larger movement already exists, it’s just early in its life cycle; as with any nascent movement. As the years go by, I think progressively larger numbers of once newly awakened men will have progressed far enough along their red pill paths, that demand for this type of conversation will grow significantly.

      • Phedre said

        Very true. The right handling/training by a man can utterly transform a woman. I’ve experienced this myself – I can hardly believe my thought patterns and actions before my man retrained me, they’re so incongruent with my entire psychology now.

        I’m not sure to what age this is possible, I think 30 if the man really knows what he’s doing, but probably not beyond that. What do you think xsplat?

        By the way, this is of course why the old system of arranged marriage worked quite well. The woman got married young, already with solid training in the wifely arts, sparing the husband a lot of the work in that regard. Instead he could finetune her training quickly, teaching her his idiosyncrasies and also training her sexually. As she was young and psychologically primed, the training was fast and easy and they could lead a fulfilled life very soon.

        Since feminism has totally taken any pre-training away it is much more work for the man now. Like you said, even in the manosphere most guys have no idea this is possible. But having a community of (somewhat) like-minded men here I think we have the opportunity to create a knowledge pool.

  2. Saw a lot of the comments section of the latest Rollo post. Looks like you got yourself thinking. Still haven’t checked out Caesar “the dog whisperer”… heard his advice applies to game. Saw your opinion on Mark Minter. Looked like Rollo may hold him in higher esteem, yet at times it seems like a sarcastic shout out. Looks like you might lump him in with the MGTOW’s, albeit perhaps a bit more socially calibrated. Thoughts?

    • xsplat said

      I’ve heard that Rob from the no maam
      blog was the originator of the MGTOW term. He is a writer that I coincidentally share many values with, and I also have admiration for his writing and thinking skills. A community of loosely associated and loosely like minded folks grew up around some of the ideas Rob was putting out, maybe a decade ago, and they organized under the heading of MGTOW. But at some point Rob decided to disavow the term as it started to take on new meanings and he was less than thrilled with the new crowd.

      So I’ve been trying to differentiate between MGTOW as a movement, and particular groups of men who identify as MGTOW. Just as I think it’s fair to criticize a church group, but not a religion – because individual interpretations can vary so widely.

      My criticism of the MGTOW forum guys was along two lines – and yes, Mark shares traits with one of those. One criticism is that they fail to imagine that successful pleasant LTRs with women are possible. Mark seems to share that failure of imagination. The other criticism is that they lack any signs of having testoteronized brains, and in that regard Mark does not get lumped together with that group. He has a fine brain. And I’d guess Mark is more socially calibrated and experienced than most in the group on the MGTOW forum. However he’d help himself and others if he knew that he had a lot more to learn, regarding interacting with women in a mutually pleasurable way.

      My Grandpa was renowned for being a cat whisperer. I’d never seen anything like it. He could call cats to him. Getting the most out of women should appear as mysterious. It should appear like voodoo and mesmerism. But it is not only magic, it is also learned.

  3. Blackburn said

    Hey Xsplat, have you heard of the 5 love languages? The author of this says that there are 5 different ways people experience love. One of them is Acts of Service. It may be that your girls have Acts of Service as their primary love language. You are actually giving them a gift when you give them an opportunity to express their love for you through an act of service to you. You are giving them a chance to love you and in return you appreciate it and love them back.

    This concept might also explain in part why others are having trouble understanding what you are saying here. They may have other primary love languages so they cant even understand what you are talking about. In your love language a ritual act of devotion is seen as love. In their language it may be seen as slavery or something like that.

    The Bible is full of references to slavery and many of them show it in a positive light. Even the believers relationship to Christ is one of slave to master, and the believer serves Christ as an act of love and devotion. To me it looks like you are tapping into some of the mechanics of the Christian model of servant / master relationships.

    I know you are not a believer, I am and I think people are hard wired to be in this type of relationship with men very dominant and women lovingly submissive. Feminism has infected every area of modern life to the extent that people cant even understand what you are talking about with this. Half the red pill as you’ve said.

    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

  4. Don said

    Do you think women love “fascist” men?
    They seem have a lot of testosterone and are very dominant. But they score low on the socio-sexual behavior: they are family men (“Love God, country, family”)

    What are your thoughts xsplat?

    • xsplat said

      I’d only be speculating, as that’s beyond the realm of my experience. But women are fond of stability, and while commitment is not a sexual attraction trigger, it is a security attraction trigger, and so moves a lot of motive.

      If we believe that we are products of evolution, then not many of us are mistakes. Something our forefathers did was effective marketing. I don’t really buy the notion that the aloof bad boy is the Jaguar that all the girls want to hop into, and other men are just Honda Civics. There are pick up trucks and Camaros and convertibles and Rolls Royces on the road. All different styles, for all different markets.

      I can imagine a family man who is the master of his domain being able to hold it all together quite well. I seem to be styling myself after that old school attitude, in a fashion. Just subtract the God and Country and children parts.

      There is less emphasis on churchly community in my household, and more on sex and romance, but I’m guessing the sense of close knit household ties and the command of the man in charge are similar in principle.

      • Don said

        Well explained.
        Women are different (or have different agenda) and every every niche has to be filled. Game theory in action. We can always find a Nash equilibrium in mixed strategies at least.

  5. t said

    For all the people that say things are different in SEA…I think they focus on the wrong things. I think the most important difference, apart from the perceived superiority and status of the white man, is conversation. The girls there probably have different methods of communicating, which can actually be a disadvantage. I think they probably lie more and it is harder to have good banter.

    Do you see any difference in communication? I think I tried addressing this before. But what about the day-to-day stuff, are you just working on your business all day and go to her when you want, or is there more communication happening. I understand her English is not very good, which changes things significantly. Same with when going out, there is a lot of general chatter that usually happens. How do you usually frame this to create attraction, or to just make it fun and teasing.

    • xsplat said

      Ya, the quality of communication tends to be a lot lower here. I lean on the internet for getting my intellectual and communication needs met, but I’m going to be making efforts to be more social with other westerners once I go to China. Also might try to be more attentive to hanging with girls who are better with conversation.

      I did have a girl here recently who was good at talking, but she was a 30 year old virgin who remained a virgin even after being naked with me a few times. She tried to friendzone me so I stopped seeing her.

      I hear men complain all the time of the quality of communication with women. So I think it’s a general female problem. But it’s an adjustment to make for guys who come out here; some aspects of womenhood are even worse out here.

      And ya, lieing happens more.

      But it’s possible to use whatever is at hand to build and maintain attraction. For my current girl we used google chat on the first date, and just kept the banter very light and humorous, and used a lot of kino. And even now I don’t talk much with her – not the way two smart westerners would talk. It’s a deficit, but one I’ve learned to live with. Not ideal, but not bad.

  6. [...] can take this however far you want, once you get comfortable.  xsplat likes to go full on daddy.  it’s a genius move.  a bit depraved?  maybe.  but better than [...]

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