MGTOW guys have intimacy avoidance issues
Posted by xsplat on November 6, 2012
I believe that some people are born with the capacity to develop an organ of perception; the perception of ideas fitting together congruently; the perception of a logical arrangement of thought. And some are not. Some people think emotionally. Women are known to “think” emotionally, and can at times be incapable of following a logical train of thought or seeing where the logical steps break down. Men also can be that way, but women tend to be that way more so and more often.
But some of us naturally and instantly notice logical inconsistencies. We wonder why others can’t see them, and so helpfully point them out.
We are never met with thanks. People not only have difficulty understanding, but it’s much worse. They actively try to not hear. They actively avoid putting together the pictures in their mind that will lead to their having a new, more logically consistent understanding.
That’s how emotional thinking works. And of course even the logical thinkers are prone to cognitive dissonance, but at least with us we have an innate value for truth as a value in and of itself, and so we can be communicated with – even if it’s at times a slow process. We’d rather take the pain of facing cognitive dissonance while adjusting to truth than not feel that pain and avoiding truth.
Sometimes lately I’m noticing myself not starting in on an argument, and not even bothering to correct peoples views, when I see that they are heavily ego invested in them. I know from long experience that when that’s the case logic won’t enter into it, and I’ll be wasting every ones time. The person with the inconsistent views will view me as attacking them, and won’t be able to even imagine alternate views, let alone take them on and integrate them into a new way of being.
I find that MGTOW (men going their own way) guys with a strong bias against intimacy and a strong bias towards being self reliant to the point of being an island onto themselves can be extremely defensive of their emotional stance, and reject the very notion of a positive and fulfilling intimacy – as if on philosophical grounds. They decry “looking for external validation”, or in any way using the people in our environment to find any sort of social or even sexual fulfillment. They deny basic human desires. They worship a LACK of libido. They find freedom in a lack of desire. They see that a less complicated life, where one doesn’t have to struggle for any externally measurable successes is more “free”, rather than seeing a successful life as more fulfilling. They value ease over satisfaction. They take the maxim “be satisfied with little” to absurd extremes, to the point where it is anti-social and anti-human. They avoid pleasures in order to avoid pain. They simplify the funs and joys and heartbreaks of life down to a muted dull grey, and call that “freedom”.
And when they come across the manosphere notion of making oneself as attractive as possible and heightening testosterone and libido and dealing with and manipulating women successfully in order to gain the many associated pleasures, they only see negatives. They CAN NOT even see, let alone remember, what it was ever like to have a woman be head over heels in love with them and treating them well, and CAN NOT comprehend that as a positive value worth striving for, in order to increase quality of life.
Someone from an MGTOW forum started a thread about my last post, 5 Days of Impotence. I was thinking to post some of the comments here and rebut, but some of the comments are distastefully hateful. And it’s the venom in them that made me realize that these guys are not just advocating a lifestyle, they are protecting one. Ego protection.
I used to live a life devoted to lowering testosterone. Yes, it does come with a lot of freedom, and has many benefits.
Now I live a life devoted to raising testosterone. That also comes with many benefits.
I’ve lived and seen both lifestyles intimately. I used to live in a Buddhist monastery, and have lived as a hermit yogi on long solitary forest meditation retreats – up to 3 months at a time. I know what it’s like to live with one meal a day and no masturbation and no entertainments. And I know what it’s like to live in meditation community centers. And to be married with a kid. And to be a travelling salesman. And to travel to new lands as an entrepreneur and have a very socially and sexually active lifestyle.
I valued the time I spent being more self sufficient. Some of it was quite happy, and it was what I wanted to do at the time. However I’d not recommend that as a permanent lifestyle choice.
For the capable man, there are much more difficult roads to navigate. Roads with more stress, and greater challenges, where pain, frustration, and heartbreak are certain. This is the path that focuses on relationships, mutual love, extremely good sex at the very top end level, fitness, financial success, sports interests, musical interests, and an assortment of hobbies that enhance a rounded out full life, including but never limited to meditative and contemplative interests.
The MGTOW crowd seem to have intimacy avoidance issues, and view normal human emotions and psychological requirements as pathological.