“You’re not fat, Deary!” is the female equivalent of “Only Gold diggers go for men with money.”
Posted by xsplat on October 26, 2012
You know how we sometimes say that women who say “You’re not fat, Deary! Your curves are sexy!” are really just cock-blocking each other?
It just occurred to me this morning that guys who say “Money doesn’t increase attraction” are also deep down, unconsciously cock-blocking their competition.
“Money isn’t important. You don’t NEED that. Focus on going out clubbing every night.” (He he he. My dastardly plan is working. In ten or twenty years he won’t have developed any capital and will be no competition for me in the older man’s mating market.)
There is a life strategy that involves delay of gratification, and consolidating and increasing your power base. Some people view it as obsessive and greedy. Accumulation for the sake of it. This attitude of wealth accumulation and delayed gratification leads to personal power.
Guys who advocate that such accumulation is not attractive, or not necessary, are really just cock-blocking. We all know that success at the game of accumulation is sexy to women.
Deny it to boost your own confidence, to excuse your own laziness and ineffectiveness at winning at that game, or deny it to keep other men from playing that game to the best of their ability. “Real men don’t care if you’re fat. It’s what’s on the inside that counts!” “Only gold diggers go after a guys money. They aren’t even interested in the real you.”
Or don’t deny it, play the game, accumulate, and learn how to use the power of wealth as one more of many tools of attraction.
How to use money to build and maintain attraction:
Money is a tool. You can’t just leave your tools in the box and expect them to do the work for you.
Money must be translated into attraction through judicious use. Spend it on location. Spend it on moody ambiance. Spend it on fashion. Spend it on logistics. Spend it social proofing. Spend it enjoying good food. Spend it on an attractive, interesting, fun and exciting lifestyle. Spend it on high status hobbies.
Money is a tool, not a thing. If you don’t use it attractively then it’s not attractive.
Why women crave new shoes
Status to women means so much more then it does to men. Men use status to get women, but women use status among other women. I imagine it’s been evolutionarily important for girls to be of high status because it allows them to garner greater resources for their children.
Have you noticed how women form social hierarchies, in a similar way as do men? Similar, but not the same. Mens hierarchies are based on ability and merit, while womens are based on the ability and merit of their men, as measured by status displays. The girl with the most expensive perfume is deferred to. Her OPINIONS mean more, because of her handbag.
Women used to have a very strong say in who their sons and daughters married. If she was high status, she’d expect a higher status (wealthier) bride or groom for her offspring.
For women status is social positioning, and social positioning is hugely important. They are clan creatures, and lack the independence of spirit and the ability to make their way in the world by themselves that men have. They rely on RELATIVE positioning, and use symbols to help prove their position.
And of course their looks – their primary asset.
So women want guys with money not just for purposes of provisioning, but also for relative social positioning in the female hierarchy.
Money is a personality trait
With women it’s not about love OR money. Women love pragmatically. They will experience the genuine emotion of love more readily if the man has money.
As men don’t love women more if they have more resources, this is alien to us. We often think it wrong. Most men think it unbelievable.
It’s a naive view that ascribes to women male emotions. Women love differently. To a woman, a fat wallet is like big tits are to a man. Attraction and real emotions get caused.
The caveat being that you have to leverage the money into relative social advantage and lifestyle gains for maximum effect.
This is a pretty simple test of a man’s familiarity with women and his theory of mind for women. If a man thinks that a subset of women are “gold diggers” and the rest are more interested in “true love”, he doesn’t know HOW women love. Women don’t love either the man or his money, they love the man who has money.
To women, money is a personality trait. Or a physical trait, like being handsome. It isn’t a separate thing. Would you still love a woman if she got fat and lost her looks? Maybe. Would a woman still love you after you lose your job? Maybe.
And of course there are many attractive traits, and attractive traits are additive. You don’t need money as one of them in order to be attractive enough, but that doesn’t mean that money is not an attractive trait. You can be a micro-dicked lousy lay and still have women coming back for more, but that doesn’t mean that being nicely endowed and a mind blowing lay isn’t more attractive. Just because it’s not essential, doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. Money matters to chicks. Especially for LTRs.
Girls in the west have men hoodwinked. Men actually believe all this equality nonsense; that men and women are the same except for their shape. Even when some women admit that they’d never date a man who earned less than them, men just don’t WANT to believe how closely tied together money and love can be. Or at best they’ll assume money is a consideration for women, but only a practical one. For women, emotions are what does the practical consideration.
And we’ll end this with a quote brought to us by reader Dom:
“Marriage is for men who have failed in business”