Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Alpha characteristics

Posted by xsplat on October 11, 2012

There is no such “thing” as a human alpha.

But a term was needed to encompass the set of traits that are attractive to women, and it is now convention to use the term alpha within the context of seduction to describe that set. In other contexts instead of talking about being a lady’s man, people use it to describe a man’s man. A virtuous leader of men. In other contexts it’s the top leader of a troup of animals that gets most of the pussy. Or whatever gorillas call their gorilla poontang. It’s just a term, not a thing, so as long as we are clear on the context, we can know which set of traits we are describing.

Here are some alpha traits:

1) The guy has slept around, and has experience with women. In the Roissy definition of alpha, the man is the guy who COULD sleep around, because women offer themselves to him, but he doesn’t necessarily follow through. Maybe. Not all alphas will have all alpha traits. This trait is alpha, as it dramatically changes the mans personality and approach to women and to life. The man not only can, but has fucked and fuck buddied and flinged and romanced with dozens and dozens of women. He’ll have been heart broken and broken hearts, been played and played the players. Many of the girls will have fallen in love, given him marriage proposals, and remained smitten for years after he left. There may be many “oops” pregnancies in there, as the girls “forgot” to be careful.

2) Closely related to number 1. The man no longer thinks of the women’s feelings first. He is capable of causing heartbreak knowingly. He no longer feels duty bound to protect the womans feelings at the expense of his own interests.

3) The bulk of all alpha attitudes flows out from number 2. The man has made a dramatic life shift in empasis, towards selfishness. Paradoxically this is attractive, and he starts to become conscious of this. Treat em mean to keep em keen is a phrase he’ll share with his buddies.

4) Grows out from number 3. He becomes commanding, and gives direct orders to his women. “Give me the remote.” He makes little allowance for what the girl wants to watch.

5) He is confident that he can compete in the sexual marketplace. He may not be the best his girl has ever had, but he knows he’s up there in the top 10%, and will remain in that to 10% no matter who she dates in the future. Again, this trait is not common to all alphas, but it is an alpha trait. The sexual confidence translates directly into authoritative command over his women.

6) He isn’t playing alpha games. If he wants closeness and sensitivity, he’ll have closeness and sensitivity. If it’s an intimate moment he won’t shy away from intimacy. He can say “I love you” and mean it. However his form of poetry will have constraints in meter and rhyme, and he’ll have an embodied feeling for never saying “I love you” more than 1/3rd as many times as the girl does. He’ll know that less is more when it comes to giving appreciation and validation. So when he gives it, it’s felt fresh by the girl as a real gift. He may compliment every good meal and call her a good girl, but the girl will know it’s appreciation backed by a true value judgment. Sometimes he’ll say the food sucks.

7) Enjoyment and expertise in subjects within at least two of these categories:

    a) Sports. Two bonus points if the sport is a marital art, one bonus point if it’s dangerous.
    b) Music: collecting < playing < composing and playing publicly
    c) Something intellectually competitive and for which recognition is given, such as skill at writing, philosophical debate, or some business skills.
    d) Contemplative and meditative arts, especially when it gives some recognition within a community of peers, but also as it applies to the profundity of your presence.
    e) Social discourse, which could be through public speaking, acting, bartending, keeping a group at a table spellbound with your conversation while making them feel as participants, or chatting up strangers.
    f) Dance

8) And then there are the structural alpha traits. Worldly command, where you have social, financial, political, and other real world powers. This could come from being a DJ or a religious orator who is up in front of crowd moving their emotions. Or it could come from the economic clout of being able to buy things and influence people. It is an elite level of control of the people and things in your environment.

9) Another structural alpha trait is how physically attractive the man is. Height, facial handsomeness, style, grooming, and fitness come into play. As does plain muscular bulk – especially lean bulk.

10) Another structural alpha trait is penis size. Some take the attitude that this there is nothing that can be done about it anyway and so push it out of awareness. Others who desire more competitive equipment put in regular time and effort through jelqing to gain an inch. There is a sweet spot that varies for each woman. Someone remind me of the link to the penis size sweet spot chart – it’s somewhere on penissizedebate.com. As I recall according to that chart the sweet spot begins somewhere around 7 inches and ends somewhere around 9, and very few men score a bullseye into the center of the sweet spot. Smaller tighter girls, like Asians, will have lower sweet spot numbers.

11) Be from somewhere else. Girls find it exotic and intriguing if you are from out of town. It not only shows that you have some daring to travel and live elsewhere, but her gene pool craves fresh genes.

12) Comic ability. People laugh at their bosses jokes much more than their underlings jokes. Making people laugh is both a sign of status and a cause of it.

13) Pre-selection. If you have number 1, then you’ll get some pre-selection from ex girlfriends who remain peripherally in your life, but you can also get it from flirting with the waitress or from pictures on your cell phone and hard drive. If you are still dating then girls will “accidentally” place hairs and hair clips and earrings and toothbrushes strategically throughout your pad. Don’t be in a hurry to hide all evidence.

14) … I’m going to come back to this post after the readers add some other traits. Hidden readers who haven’t commented yet, don’t be shy – I know you’re out there.

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10 Responses to “Alpha characteristics”

  1. Dillon said

    He comes up with his own unique and dynamic definition of “Alpha” which came to him from within and was not influenced by an external source.

  2. valmont said

    Related to 2, 3 & 4 is the specific concept of having one’s own world that you invite other people, especially girls, into. The best way I’ve seen this described is by Donlak and is being the king of your own kingdom. You define how your kingdom looks, acts and the direction it drives in, including who is allowed in it and how you allow them to treat it. (http://donlak.wordpress.com/2011/05/02/be-a-king/)

  3. [...] Random Xpat Rantings – Complaining Is Not Social Activism, Does It Bother You When. . ., Random Quotes From. . ., Alpha Characteristics [...]

  4. Jake said

    The alpha thing makes me cringe a little. So many guys with just barely enough cognitive function are bound to take that the wrong way. “Create an interesting life” doesn’t reflect in “alpha”, though that’s how you describe most of it. Good post!

    • xsplat said

      Creating an interesting life is a good way to coceptualize fostering attractive traits. But it risks sliding into “just be yourself” territory, or confusing what men appreciate with what women do. Some things that men find fascinating do little to raise attraction. Entymology, insect collecting, memorizing sports stats or chess moves, electronic engineering. Worlds that fascinate men mean nothing to women and for that reason we can’t categorize them along with the other attractive traits.

      So the idea of using an interesting life as a vehicle to attract women is a good one, as long as we keep in mind that the life has to be interesting to women. That’s what number 7 is about. Just as women can’t explain to men what we should find attractive, men who are interested in women are at an advantage if we know what it is they actually value in a man. And it’s often quite different from what men value. Luckily there are overlaps, so if the guy wants to take up new hobbies he can do so informed by the overlap.

  5. Don said

    Great post as always Xspat.

    How much do women consider height important?
    I see al lot of tall guys doing not as good as shot guys in dating.
    Short people seem had to improve their social ability since youth.

    Ranking these traits we can say:

    1) Fame/Wealth/Social status (a business owner can not be compared to a factory worker)
    3) Pre-selection
    3) Game/Social abilities
    4) Handsomeness/Height/Physique/Dick size
    5) Lifestyle/Interests

  6. Revo Luzione said

    Great list. Of all, I think #6 is most exemplified by this blog, and is also most underrepresented in the androsphere.
    To add one of my own, I will call it the “delta” factor. That is, a measure of how much a man is willing to dance to the beat of his own drum, to go against the grain, to be unpredictable, and most importantly, truly authentic.

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