Intimacy without commitment
Posted by xsplat on July 25, 2012
Remember the last time you were so into a girl, that when you kissed your heart welled up with lust, passion, and adoration? You felt as if the two of you formed a hungry union.
That’s a good feeling.
And yet it seems many players deliberately avoid those feelings. They want to maintain hand so badly that the refuse to risk the emotional vulnerability that comes with intense intimacy.
One of the few themes I keep harping back to is that being aloof is not game. You can seduce women through a love-at-first-sight experience. Through the intensity of your passion.
There are a few rules to this:
1) No matter how much love and joy and lust and happiness and bonding romance you feel for the girl, no matter how attached you become or how much she improves your life, no matter what – you absolutely must maintain your hand. Say I love you less than 1/3rd as many times as she says it. Show no signs of clinging. Occasionally push her away, even if just in jest; “Go away, you’re making me horny” and push her off the bed with your feet.
2) Be sensitive. Yes, men are sensitive. Men are lovers. Being sensitive means you meld into her when you play with her pussy. You can play that pussy like miniature violin. When you are inside her you are sensitive to every little contraction, to her voice, to her breathing. You meld with her and play the tempo like a master musician. As well as physical and energetic sensitivity, a man can connect emotionally to the girl. Many people talk as if feeling close to the girl they are fucking is an alien experience. I’m talking about feeling strong emotions – whether it be screamingly intense sex, gentle sex, romantic sex, violent sex, or kinky sex. I’m talking about making a personal intimate connection to the girl through these emotions.
3) Be daring. Sex is not a static thing. Each time is a fresh performance, each time can show you some new musical variation. Do role play. We’ve heard it said that women love to learn about themselves through emotional experiences. Play games while you fuck. She’s your secretary. She’s 12 and shouldn’t tell her mother. She’s your daughter. She’s your daughter and shouldn’t tell her mother. There is a third imaginary girl in the bed. She’s a prostitute. She’s being raped. Don’t be afraid that thoughts are taboo – if you can play it in a video game because it’s not real, then you can role play it with your lover.
4) Be sensitive. In this case I’m talking about to the sensations in your body. You need to prepare by practising energetic exercises, such as being able to blast energy up your spine to the top of your head, being able to ground energies from your perineum to below your feet. If chi-kung doesn’t interest you, how about yoga? Breathing exercises? Shamata-vipassana meditation? The more of these practices you do, the more you will embody your body. You will find that instead of experiencing sex through the lense of your inner voice, you experience it as your body. Your body moves energies around, and you can become power and control incarnate. You can feel intense sexual heat in your belly, and be in control of it so that you are not forced to come. You can shift it to below your feet, up to your heart, up to your forehead or above your head. You can experience that sexual heat in all those places at once and coursing from your heart through your arms to the palms of your hands, and out around your body. And into her. Be sensitive, and be in control, and be power.
If your sex is not intimate, really, you are doing it wrong and need to evaluate your life.
Yes, the girl might leave you. You’re a man, right? And yes, you might leave her, or have more than one girl you are into. There is no excuse for not going all out. You’re a man, right? Right?
With this attitude you can literally make love after 30 minutes of first seeing the girls face. I’m not talking about lusty fun fucking – I’m talking about making love. I did that with a girl a few years ago. She then journeyed with me from her small town to visit my apartment the next morning, and then quickly moved in. Mutual love is not a matter of friendship first. It’s very easy. And if you want, it can be very common. And it’s always very good. It gives meaning and makes your heart warm and makes your day warm. A glow infuses your breath, and your environment is animated with heartfelt purpose. You fall asleep into something good and you wake up into something good.
A huge part of seduction is about intimacy. All of us crave it. For most people it is a peak experience. But for you it doesn’t have to be. It can be your modus operandi.
Forget about being aloof. Intimacy is women’s kryptonite. You can make them weak in the knees with a look.
I’d have to work to remember how many girls I’ve moved in on the first date. How many I connected with from the get go as if we’d been long time lovers. How easy it’s been to just connect. I’ve never tried to be aloof. I’m a passionate man. This personal style has never been a hindrance – it has been my greatest strength.
Update: I should add that love-at-first-sight works best when combined with paternal dominance. And it goes without saying that the woman should fear that misbehaving will cause you to kick her out, and she should also have jealous dread.
el mechanico Wrote: The weed must be real good where you’re at huh?
I’m short, balding, strikingly ugly, have debilitating flatulence, and yet I routinely date some of the hottest girls in the whatever city I land in, often with them moving in on the first date.
So it’s not just about my weed. I’m letting you know that there is an alternate seduction style that just is never talked about.
Even in the States?
Haven’t been in the states in a dozen years. I did better than most men then, but was pretty stupid about women.
I’m not saying “hey y’all, why don’t you try being a total retard beta”.
I’m saying don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.
When you embody dominance, you can also embody passion.
Athlone McGinnis While I can’t find too much I disagree with here after a quick first read, I have my doubts as to how effective these theories would be in the United States or anywhere in the west.
You’re in a society where girls are passionate, don’t mind nice and/or less than physically ideal guys and don’t romanticize the idea of being treated like shit. Western girls are a whole different animal, and that animal often eats intimacy for breakfast (especially when displayed early). Suggestions 1 and 3 seem like they would translate well enough. Other than that, I don’t think these birds would fly here.
Really now? I’ve always found girls in the states appreciate a good fucking. And what I’m describing is a good fucking.
The brute force type fucking tends to not bond girls to their men as much. From what the girls who come for the first time in their life with me have told me. Including all the US ones.
A dozen years is a long time. It’s gotten really bad here in the last two but I agree about the fucking part but they don’t seem to care if you have some passion or shove the whole kitchen up their asses anymore.
I’m in no position to argue, however I’d be surprised if culture can change what seems to me to be basic female nature.
By the way, it would be very easy to mistake my message. Choking, slapping and spitting fit in with my message perfectly well.
I’m not talking about being sweet. Not only sweet. I’m talking about feeling a connection to someone that grabs them so that they stay grabbed.
And the conversation continues here